In the heaven
A Sardar died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gate Dharam Raj told him that new rules were in effect due to the advances in education on earth.
In order to gain admittance a prospective heavenly soul must answer two questions:
1. Name two days of the week that begin with "T".
2. How many seconds are in a year?
The Sardar thought for a few minutes and answered...
1. The two days of the week that begin with "T" are Today and Tomorrow.
2. There are 12 seconds in a year.
DharamRaj said, "OK, I'll buy the Today and Tomorrow, even though it's not the answer I expected, so your answer is correct. But how did you get 12 seconds in a year?"
The Sardar replied, "Well, January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, etc...."
Dharam Raj lets him in without another word.
More Sardar Jokes
Once a Sadarji came home with his left forehead bleeding his wife asked him what happened.
He replied "there was a nail in the window of the bus that pricked me each time the bus jerked",
His wife said "then why didn't u exchanged your seat with some other passengers, that did not know about the nail!
Sadarji replied "How can I exchange my seat when there were no other passengers in the bus other than me".
Santa goes into a very exclusive hotel for a night with a call girl and asks for a room. The manager immediately recognized them for what they are but could not throw them out, instead he decided to be clever.
In the morning Santa and the girl came to settle the bill and were surprised to find the amount to be over $3000.
"How's this? We've only been here one night!" Santa was annoyed.
"So?", said the manager, "this is a very expensive hotel. We have golf courts, tennis course, swimming pools, exercise rooms, bars and restaurants, all this is very expensive to keep up."
"But we didn't use any of these!" explained Santa.
"If you didn't use - that's your problem," came the reply.
"In that case, you owe me $2000. You see, my wife is a call girl who charges $5000 a night, so please settle your bill," said Santa.
"What do you mean?" the manager was taken off guard, "I didn't sleep with your wife!"
"If you didn't use - that's your problem!"
Banta's son is having trouble understanding Economics, so he asks his dad.
"It's very simple," explains his dad. "Let me make it simpler through comparisons.
Since I'm the one who earns for the house, I can be referred to as the Management. Since your mother runs the household, she will be called the Government, the maid is the Working Class, you are the People and your baby brother, since he's so little, will represent the Future."
With that, the little boy goes away to ponder over all that has been said.
That night, his baby brother's wailing awakens him. So, he rushes to his parents room and sees that his father is not in his bed while his mom is fast asleep. He then goes to the maid's room to find his father busy making out with the maid. Tired of everyone ignoring him, the boy goes back to his room.
Next morning, Banta asks him about what he had learned the previous day.
"Well," replies his son, "While the Management is screwing the Working Class, the Government is fast asleep, People are being ignored and the Future is full of shit."