Obstetrician's wife

Obstetrician's wife

At a big cocktail party, an obstetrician's wife noticed another guest, a big, over sexed woman, was making overtures to her husband. But it was a large, informal gathering, so she tried to laugh it off, until she saw them disappear into a bedroom together.

At once she rushed into the room, pulled the two apart and screamed, "Look, lady! My husband just delivers babies, he doesn't INSTALL them!"

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A Deal

Three guys, Father, Son and Grandfather go out to play a round of golf. Just before the son is ready to tee off, this fine looking woman walks up carrying her clubs.

She says her partner didn't show and asks if she can join them. The guys say sure, since she is a really beautiful woman. The lady turns to the three of them and says, "I don't care what the three of you do, cuss, smoke, chew, spit, fart or whatever. Just don't try to coach me on my game".

The guys say OK and ask if she would like to tee off first. All eyes are on her ass as her skirt rides up when she bends over to place the ball. She then proceeds to knock the hell out of the ball right up the middle.

She just starts pounding these guys, paring every hole. The foursome get to the 18th and she has a 12 foot putt for par.

She turns around and says,

"You guys have done a great job at not trying to coach me on my game. I've never shot par before, and I'm going to ask your opinions on this putt. Now if any of your opinions help me make the putt, I will give that guy a blow job he will never forget."

The guys think what a deal! The kid walks over, eyes up the putt for a couple of minutes, and finally says,

"Lady, aim that putt six inches to the right of the hole. The ball will break left 12 inches from the hole and go in the cup."

The father walks up and says, "Don't listen to the youngster, aim 12 inches to the right and the ball will break left 2 feet from the hole and fall into the cup."

The Grandpa looks at both of them in disgust, walks over picking up the ball, drops it into the cup, unzips his fly and says "That's a Gimme."

Biology Student

A boy came back home after his biology classes and entered his parents room. his parents were doing that...

so the boy tells his parents, "Is this how you transfer your pollen grains!"

Bull Fighters Nightmare!

A friend was touring Spain. He stopped at a local restaurant. While dining, he saw a scrumptious dinner dish being served at the next table. It looked and smelled wonderful! He inquired about the dish to the waiter, who replied: "Ah, Senor, you have excellent taste. Those are Bull balls from the bull fight this morning. A delicacy!"

My friend, though momentarily daunted when he learned the origin of the dish, said, "What the hell, I'm on vacation," and he requested an order. The waiter informed him there was only one order served per day as there is only one bull fight each morning. The waiter related that if my friend returned early and placed his order the next day he would be sure to try the rare dish.

The next morning we returned and much to his delight, my friend was served the one and only special dish of the day. Upon inspection and after a few bites, he noted to the waiter that (even though the dish was very tasty) the balls were much smaller than the ones that he had seen being served the previous day. The waiter shrugged and replied, "Senor, sometimes the bull does not always loose!"

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