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Taken Apart

Taken Apart

Little Johnny asked his mother, "Ma, is it true that people can be taken apart like machines?"

"Of course not! Where did you hear such nonsense?"

Little Johnny answered, "The other day, when Daddy and his friend were working out in the garage he said that he screwed the a$$ off his secretary"




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"Bald Parrot"

A farmer and his wife are given the gift of a parrot from a relative. The Parrot, being a male, sneaks out and screws the next door neighbor turkeys and rushes back home, but not before being caught in the act.

The next door neighbor knock on the door and explain what the Parrot has been doing. The owners of the parrot reprimand him and tell him if he doesn't stop it he's going to shave the parrots head.

That night the Parrot, overcome with desire, sneaks out and screws his neighbor turkeys again. The next morning the owner ties the bird down and proceeds to shave his head.

The following morning is the Farmer's daughters wedding, and in order to please the relative that gave them the parrot, they sit the parrot on a piano and tell him for his punishment he has to greet all the guests and tell them where to sit in the church.

The parrot is doing fine. "Groom's side to the left and Bride's side to the right". The two bald guys walk in and the parrot says, "And you two
Turkey-screwing pals, up on the piano with me!!!"

Midget!!

There was a midget (little person) down in Texas whose testicles ached almost all the time. The midget went to the doctor and told him what the problem was.

The doctor told him to drop his pants and he would have a look. The midget dropped his pants. The doctor stood him up onto the examining table, and started to examine him. The doc put one finger under his left one and told the midget to turn his head and cough -- the usual method to check for a hernia.

"Aha!" mumbled the doc, and putting his finger under the right one, he asked the midget to cough again.

"Aha!" said the doctor and reached for his surgical scissors. Snip, snip, snip, snip on the right side then snip, snip, snip, snip, snip, snip, on the left side.


The midget was so scared he was afraid to look so he stared at the ceiling, but noted with amazement that the snipping did not hurt. Then the doctor then told the midget to get dressed and see if they still ached. The midget was absolutely delighted as he walked around the doc's office and discovered his groin area was no longer aching.

The midget said "Perfect, Doc, and I didn't even feel it... What did you do?" The Doctor replied, " I cut two inches off the top of your cowboy boots."

Telegram

A broken down young man with job of travelling made an appointment with a Psychiatrist on emergency.

On Psychiatrist's couch he started turning left and right, crying, and venting his fiasco, "Doc, I had to go make this big sale out of town on job," he narrated to the doctor, "and I sent a telegram to my wife that I would be coming home one day earlier on Thursday instead of Friday"

He continued, "And when I returned home earlier, dying to catch up with all the missed sex times with my wife, I threw off all my clothes, and went straight into my bedroom nacked screaming 'honey', and guess what, I found her in bed screwing my best friend! Not only I have been without sex all these times but the shock of my friend getting gratifying instead of me is killing me."

The man then broke down into uncontrollable tears.

The solution of all mentality, the expensive doctor considered the problem with a gravity for a couple of minutes to justify his fees, then said, "You know what I think, May be she never got your telegram."

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