Not an Ordinary Purse

Not an Ordinary Purse

There was a Jewish man who did circumcisions on small Jewish baby boys. He had been doing it for years and all the time collected the foreskins from all the babies.

He had quite a lot, then one day walked past a shop that had the following sign in the window,

"We Can Make Anything Out Of Anything - Just Bring The Material"

So the Jewish man went in and asked them to make a purse from the foreskins he had collected. He was told to go back in a week's time when it would be ready.

A week later, he returned to the shop to collect the purse. He complemented the shopkeeper for doing such a fine job and asked how much he owed him.

"$300" said the shopkeeper.

"$300, for such a small purse, you must be joking! How come it's so expensive?"

The shopkeeper replied "Ah, you see this is no ordinary purse...if you rub it, it turns into a suitcase"

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Taken Apart

Little Johnny asked his mother, "Ma, is it true that people can be taken apart like machines?"

"Of course not! Where did you hear such nonsense?"

Little Johnny answered, "The other day, when Daddy and his friend were working out in the garage he said that he screwed the a$$ off his secretary"

"Bald Parrot"

A farmer and his wife are given the gift of a parrot from a relative. The Parrot, being a male, sneaks out and screws the next door neighbor turkeys and rushes back home, but not before being caught in the act.

The next door neighbor knock on the door and explain what the Parrot has been doing. The owners of the parrot reprimand him and tell him if he doesn't stop it he's going to shave the parrots head.

That night the Parrot, overcome with desire, sneaks out and screws his neighbor turkeys again. The next morning the owner ties the bird down and proceeds to shave his head.

The following morning is the Farmer's daughters wedding, and in order to please the relative that gave them the parrot, they sit the parrot on a piano and tell him for his punishment he has to greet all the guests and tell them where to sit in the church.

The parrot is doing fine. "Groom's side to the left and Bride's side to the right". The two bald guys walk in and the parrot says, "And you two
Turkey-screwing pals, up on the piano with me!!!"


There was a midget (little person) down in Texas whose testicles ached almost all the time. The midget went to the doctor and told him what the problem was.

The doctor told him to drop his pants and he would have a look. The midget dropped his pants. The doctor stood him up onto the examining table, and started to examine him. The doc put one finger under his left one and told the midget to turn his head and cough -- the usual method to check for a hernia.

"Aha!" mumbled the doc, and putting his finger under the right one, he asked the midget to cough again.

"Aha!" said the doctor and reached for his surgical scissors. Snip, snip, snip, snip on the right side then snip, snip, snip, snip, snip, snip, on the left side.

The midget was so scared he was afraid to look so he stared at the ceiling, but noted with amazement that the snipping did not hurt. Then the doctor then told the midget to get dressed and see if they still ached. The midget was absolutely delighted as he walked around the doc's office and discovered his groin area was no longer aching.

The midget said "Perfect, Doc, and I didn't even feel it... What did you do?" The Doctor replied, " I cut two inches off the top of your cowboy boots."

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