Finance Hooker

Finance Hooker

A new hooker had just finished her first trick and when she came down the street, the seasoned veterans gathered around to hear the details.

She said, "Well, he was a big, muscular, handsome sailor."

"Well, what did he want you to do?" they all asked.

She said, "I told him missionary-style sex would be $100, but he didn't have that much. Then I told him oral sex would be $75, but he didn't have that much either. Finally I asked him how much money he had."

The sailor said, "I have $25."

So the hooker said, "Well, for $25, all I can do is service you by hand."

The hooker went on the explain that, "he pulled it out and I put one hand on it, and then a second hand above the first, and then the first hand above the second hand... it was the best dick you could lay your hands on, kind of Perfect"

"Oh my God," they all exclaimed, "It must have been huge, then what did you do?"

"I loaned him $75!" she exclaimed.

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Not an Ordinary Purse

There was a Jewish man who did circumcisions on small Jewish baby boys. He had been doing it for years and all the time collected the foreskins from all the babies.

He had quite a lot, then one day walked past a shop that had the following sign in the window,

"We Can Make Anything Out Of Anything - Just Bring The Material"

So the Jewish man went in and asked them to make a purse from the foreskins he had collected. He was told to go back in a week's time when it would be ready.

A week later, he returned to the shop to collect the purse. He complemented the shopkeeper for doing such a fine job and asked how much he owed him.

"$300" said the shopkeeper.

"$300, for such a small purse, you must be joking! How come it's so expensive?"

The shopkeeper replied "Ah, you see this is no ordinary purse...if you rub it, it turns into a suitcase"

Taken Apart

Little Johnny asked his mother, "Ma, is it true that people can be taken apart like machines?"

"Of course not! Where did you hear such nonsense?"

Little Johnny answered, "The other day, when Daddy and his friend were working out in the garage he said that he screwed the a$$ off his secretary"

"Bald Parrot"

A farmer and his wife are given the gift of a parrot from a relative. The Parrot, being a male, sneaks out and screws the next door neighbor turkeys and rushes back home, but not before being caught in the act.

The next door neighbor knock on the door and explain what the Parrot has been doing. The owners of the parrot reprimand him and tell him if he doesn't stop it he's going to shave the parrots head.

That night the Parrot, overcome with desire, sneaks out and screws his neighbor turkeys again. The next morning the owner ties the bird down and proceeds to shave his head.

The following morning is the Farmer's daughters wedding, and in order to please the relative that gave them the parrot, they sit the parrot on a piano and tell him for his punishment he has to greet all the guests and tell them where to sit in the church.

The parrot is doing fine. "Groom's side to the left and Bride's side to the right". The two bald guys walk in and the parrot says, "And you two
Turkey-screwing pals, up on the piano with me!!!"

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