Top 10 things that are dirty in golf but arent:
10. Nuts . . . my shaft is bent.
9. After 18 holes I can barely walk.
8. You really whacked the hell out of that sucker.
7. Look at the size of his putter.
6. Keep your head down and spread your legs a bit more.
5. Mind if I join your threesome.
4. Stand with your back turned and drop it.
3. My hands are so sweaty I cant get a good grip.
2. Nice stroke, but your follow through has a lot to be desired.
1. Hold up . . . I need to wash my balls first!
More Sports Jokes
It's the end of the day at a cricket tournament in Sharjah and India as usual has lost yet another game to Pakistan.
At that very moment Mohammad Azharuddin gets a call from his wife. She says, "Darling, have you bought all the gifts that I had asked you to get for me?" He replies, "Well, I'd really like to, but the crowd outside is waiting to beat me up, so I can't leave my hotel room."
His wife replies, "That's no problem, honey. Just dress yourself as a lady. You should have no problem leaving the hotel." Azhar does just that and goes shopping around. No one recognizes him anywhere until he reaches the last shop. That's when he hears a cheery, "Hi Azhar, it's nice to see you here!"
Totally shocked, he turns around to see a lady in a burkha. "How the heck did you know that it was me?"
The lady replies, "Don't worry yaar. It's me, Rahul."
When Gavaskar finds out that there has been released, a movie, in Australia called "Gavaskar", he is very happy. He plans to watch it and gets a ticket for Australia at once. With great difficulty he manages to get a ticket and very happily he goes to see the movie. But when he comes out of the cinema he is very angry!
He goes straight to the director of the movie and says, "What do you mean by this? You named your movie 'Gavaskar', but didn't show anything about me in it!".
The director of the movie laughs and says, "So now you understand the problem? You people too made a movie called "Border", but did you show anything about Allan Border in it?"
A man staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally the doctor asks him what happened.
Well, it was like this, said the man. I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when she sliced her ball into a pasture of cows.
We went to look for it, and while I was rooting around I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail, and sure enough, there was my wife's golf ball........stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt. That's when I made my mistake.
"What did you do?" asks the doctor.
Well, I lifted the tail and yelled to my wife, "Hey, this looks like yours!"