A guy is going on an ocean cruise, and he tells his doctor that he is worried about getting seasick.
The doctor says, "Just eat two pounds of stewed tomatoes before you leave the dock."
The guy says, "Will that keep me from getting sick, Doc?"
The doctor says, "No, but it will look real pretty in the water."
More Medical Jokes
Viagra + Crime = ?
Our local drugstore was robbed of 500 bottles of Viagra.
The suspect is known to be a hardened criminal!
Viagra + Death = ?
What happend to the man who died on an overdose of Viagra?
They couldn't close the coffin.
Viagra + Eyedrops = ?
Why'd the man take Viagra eyedrops?
Because he wanted to look hard!
A man is having terrible headaches. He can't sleep, eat, think, or do much of anything because of the pain. Several doctors examined him and couldn't determine the cause of his problem. He finally went to one of the top neurological specialists in the country who examines him and says, "I've found the cause of the pain. Your testicles are pushing up into your spine. The constant pressureon the spine causes the headaches. The only thing I can do is perform surgery and remove your testicles."
The man is shocked to hear this but the decision is not difficult as he know he cannot stand the pain of the headaches. He has the surgery and immediately fells like a new man. The pain is completely gone and he feels like he has a new life. He is so happy he decides to buy himself a new suit. He goes to a small men's shop and tells the old tailor that he wants to buy a suit.
"Sure," says the tailor. "You're a 42 long, right?"
"Wow, how did you know?" says the man.
"Hey, I've been in this business a long time. You learn a few things" said the tailor."
The tailor brought the man a suit that fit perfectly. It looked so good that the man decided to buy a new shirt to go with it.
"16, 34, right?" said the tailor.
"Right again!" said the man. "You're amazing."
"Hey, I've been in this business a long time. You learn a few things".
The tailor brought a shirt and tie and they looked great. The man said, "Hey, let's go for broke. Give me a pair of the silk boxers too."
The tailor said, "36 right?"
"I'm disappointed," said the man. "But 2 out of 3 is still good. I wear size 34 boxers."
The tailor said, "Hey, I've been in this business for a long time and I think you need 36."
The man replied, "It's obvious you know your business but I've worn size 34 for as long as I can remember. I'm going to have to disagree with you on this one".
"Hey look," said the tailor, "I'll sell you whatever you want. But I've been in this business a long time. If you wear a size 34 it's gonna push your nuts up into your spine and give you terrible headaches."
A patient suffering from a nasty cold visited Dr. D Costa and said groaning, "Doctor, can you cure my terrible cold? It has made things hell for me for the last four or five days."
Having never read about any confirmed cure for common cold, the young, over-zealous doctor advised after much initial hesitation, "You may do one thing. Take a hot bath and stand beneath a fan."
"Stand beneath a fan!" perplexed by the strange instruction, the patient asked, "Will your method cure me, doctor?"
"I can't say so for sure," replied Dr. D Costa, with his spectacles resting on his nose, "but if you do as directed, you are certain to get pneumonia which I can cure for sure!"