Depressed Cow

Depressed Cow

At the Agricultural university, the Professor was talking about increasing milk production of the cows, when a girl in the class asked, "Why do cows always seem depressed when being milked?"

The Professor answered, "Well my girl, if every morning at dawn they woke you up, rubbed your boobs for two hours and didn't screw you afterwards, how would you feel!"

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The Tattoo

One mother was very worried about the bird tattoo her daughter had got below her naval. She could not understand what her son-in-law would say after marriage.

When her daughter got married, she asked what her new husband told. The daughter replied, "Well, he didn't mind the bird, but he sure got excited when he saw its nest below it."

Age Proof

An old man goes into the Social Security Office and fills out an application. Too old to have a birth certificate, he is asked to prove he is old enough.

He opens his shirt and shows them the gray hair on his chest and they accept that as proof.

He goes home to his wife, show's her the check, and explains to her what has happened.

She replies, "Well get back down there, pull down your pants, and see if you can get disability!"

Birthday Gift

There was a fellow talking to his buddy one day. The fellow said, "I don't know what to get my wife for her birthday. She has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants, so I'm stumped."

His buddy said, "I have an idea. Why don't you make up a certificate that says she can have two hours of great sex, any way she wants it. She'll probably be thrilled!" So, the first fellow did just that.

The next day his buddy asked, "Well, did you take my suggestion? How'd it turn out?"

"She loved it. She jumped up, thanked me, kissed me on the mouth, and ran out the door yelling, 'I'll see you in two hours'!"

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