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Next year...

Next year...

On Christmas morning a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light, and next to him is a kid on his brand new bike. The cop says to the kid, "Nice bike you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?" The kid says, "Yeah." The cop says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put a tail-light on that bike." The cop then proceeds to issue the kid a $20.00 bicycle safety violation ticket. The kid takes the ticket and before the cop rides off says, "By the way, that's a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?" Humouring the kid, the cop says, "Yeah, he sure did." The kid says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put the dick underneath the horse, instead of on top."




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Business Trips

A popular airline recently introduced a special half rate fare for wives who accompanied their husbands on business trips.

Expecting great feedback, the company sent out letters to all the wives of businessmen who had used the special rates, asking how they enjoyed their trip. Letters are still pouring in asking, "What trip?"

Smartest Mom

Three children will be discussing about whose mom is the smartest

1 Child: My mom is the smartest of all
2 and 3 Child: Who said so
1 Child: My father said so

2 Child: My mom is the smartest of all
1 and 3 Child: Who said so
2 Child: My father said so

3 child: My mom is the smartest of all
1 and 2 child: Whoo said so
3 child: Both of your father said so

Finance Hooker

A new hooker had just finished her first trick and when she came down the street, the seasoned veterans gathered around to hear the details.

She said, "Well, he was a big, muscular, handsome sailor."

"Well, what did he want you to do?" they all asked.

She said, "I told him missionary-style sex would be $100, but he didn't have that much. Then I told him oral sex would be $75, but he didn't have that much either. Finally I asked him how much money he had."

The sailor said, "I have $25."

So the hooker said, "Well, for $25, all I can do is service you by hand."

The hooker went on the explain that, "he pulled it out and I put one hand on it, and then a second hand above the first, and then the first hand above the second hand... it was the best dick you could lay your hands on, kind of Perfect"

"Oh my God," they all exclaimed, "It must have been huge, then what did you do?"

"I loaned him $75!" she exclaimed.

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