Santa Singh bought two tickets to Connaught Place from Tilak Nagar in a DTC bus in Delhi. The conductor was a bit surprised as he could not see anyone with Santa.
Conductor: "Oye Sardaran! Why do you need two tickets? You are travelling alone?"
Santa Singh: "Dont you know.. pick-pocketing is common on buses... so I will keep one ticket in my shirts left pocket and the other in my right! So even if a pickpocket gets at one of my pockets, I will still have a ticket and will not travel without ticket!"
Conductor: "What if a pickpocket gets both your pockets?"
Santa Singh takes out his wallet from his pant pocket: "I have a monthly pass also!"
Conductor: "And if someone gets your pant pockets also.. then what.. then you will be fined for travelling without ticket!!"
Santa Singh puts his hand inside his shirt and displays his ID card (hanging with a chain around his neck) and says with a cunning smile: "Phir sadda DTC staff hone ka kya fayada!"
More Sardar Jokes
One day Santa was enjoying the aquatic world 20 feet below sea level. Suddenly he noticed Banta at the same depth, but without any scuba gear.
Surprised, Santa went down another 20 feet, but Banta joined him a few minutes later. Santa went 25 feet deeper, but minutes later, Banta was with him. This confused Santa, so he took out a waterproof chalkboard set, and wrote, "Oye, how come you are able to swim so deep without any scuba gear?"
Banta took the board and chalk and replied, "Khotte de puttar, cant you see! Asee doob rahe hain! Im drowning!"
Santa was driving his brand new Porsche on a highway in Australia (speed limit of 110 kmph) when suddenly Banta came alongside in his brand new Ferrari. Banta said, Kabhi Ferrari chalayee hai?!! and sped away.
Santa was a bit annoyed and pushed his foot down. The car sped to 120 kmph and overtook Banta. But after a few minutes Banta again came alongside. And Banta said, Kabhi Ferrari chalayee hai?!! and again sped away.
Santa increased his speed to 130 kmph and again overtook Banta. And again Banta came alongside within a few minutes. Banta said, Kabhi Ferrari chalayee hai?!! before speeding away.
And so it went until Santa realised that he was now travelling at 200 kmph, well above the speed limit. He decided to act wise and slow down and let Banta act crazy. And then he noticed in his mirror that Banta had crashed into the bushes.
Santa stopped and went upto Banta with a smile thinking it was now time for him to ridicule Banta. He asked with sarcasm, Kabhi Ferrari chalayee hai?!!
Banta replied with dismay, Nahee chalayee hai. Tabhi to pucch raha tha, ki BREAK kithhon hai...
Three Indian soldiers, Jai Reddy (Tamil), Joy Bosu (Bengali), and Santa Singh are captured by Pakistani Army. The Pakistani Corp commander does not want to have them as POWs and has decided to execute them. They are asked what they wish to have for their last meal.
The Reddy asks for a Masala Dosa, which he is served and then taken away.
The Bosu requests a Machli Bhath, which he is served and also taken away.
Santa requests Sarson ka saag and Makki di roti.
The captors are surprised and reply " Sarson?"
"Arre Sarson to is season mein aati nahin hai!"
"Koi gall nahin. Asee intezaar karanga..."