Santa Singh was brought to court on charges of drunken driving.
Just before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery. The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, "Order! Order!"
Santa responded immediately, "Thank you, your honour! Ill have a scotch and soda."
More Sardar Jokes
Santa and Banta were watching the 11:00 news. The current news story was about a man up on a ledge and threatening to jump to kill himself. The channel cuts for a commercial break.
Santa: I bet you Rs. 200 he is going to jump.
Banta: OK. Im on!
The news is back after the break. And the man jumps from the ledge.
Banta: OK Heres my Rs 200.
Santa: No, that was too easy. I cant take it.
Banta: I insist. I lost.
Santa: I have a confession to make. I saw the same thing on the 6:00 news and knew he jumped. So it wasnt really fair. I wont take the money.
Banta: Thats OK! I know. I saw the same newscast. But I didnt think he would be stupid enough to jump twice!
Santa Singh bought two tickets to Connaught Place from Tilak Nagar in a DTC bus in Delhi. The conductor was a bit surprised as he could not see anyone with Santa.
Conductor: "Oye Sardaran! Why do you need two tickets? You are travelling alone?"
Santa Singh: "Dont you know.. pick-pocketing is common on buses... so I will keep one ticket in my shirts left pocket and the other in my right! So even if a pickpocket gets at one of my pockets, I will still have a ticket and will not travel without ticket!"
Conductor: "What if a pickpocket gets both your pockets?"
Santa Singh takes out his wallet from his pant pocket: "I have a monthly pass also!"
Conductor: "And if someone gets your pant pockets also.. then what.. then you will be fined for travelling without ticket!!"
Santa Singh puts his hand inside his shirt and displays his ID card (hanging with a chain around his neck) and says with a cunning smile: "Phir sadda DTC staff hone ka kya fayada!"
One day Santa was enjoying the aquatic world 20 feet below sea level. Suddenly he noticed Banta at the same depth, but without any scuba gear.
Surprised, Santa went down another 20 feet, but Banta joined him a few minutes later. Santa went 25 feet deeper, but minutes later, Banta was with him. This confused Santa, so he took out a waterproof chalkboard set, and wrote, "Oye, how come you are able to swim so deep without any scuba gear?"
Banta took the board and chalk and replied, "Khotte de puttar, cant you see! Asee doob rahe hain! Im drowning!"