Car Lock

Santa Singh accidentally locked his keys inside his car. He called a mechanic - Banta Singh who arrived and said, "Give me ten minutes and Ill have everything worked out."

Santa went back inside his house and came back after a few minutes. He found Banta working feverishly to unlock the drivers side door. As Santa watched from the passengers side, he instinctively tried the door handle and discovered it was open. "Hey," Santa announced to the mechanic, "Its open!"

"I know," answered Banta. "I already opened that side."

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Court Trial

Santa Singh was brought to court on charges of drunken driving.

Just before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery. The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, "Order! Order!"

Santa responded immediately, "Thank you, your honour! Ill have a scotch and soda."

TV News

Santa and Banta were watching the 11:00 news. The current news story was about a man up on a ledge and threatening to jump to kill himself. The channel cuts for a commercial break.

Santa: I bet you Rs. 200 he is going to jump.

Banta: OK. Im on!

The news is back after the break. And the man jumps from the ledge.

Banta: OK Heres my Rs 200.

Santa: No, that was too easy. I cant take it.

Banta: I insist. I lost.

Santa: I have a confession to make. I saw the same thing on the 6:00 news and knew he jumped. So it wasnt really fair. I wont take the money.

Banta: Thats OK! I know. I saw the same newscast. But I didnt think he would be stupid enough to jump twice!

Santa's Cleverness

Santa Singh bought two tickets to Connaught Place from Tilak Nagar in a DTC bus in Delhi. The conductor was a bit surprised as he could not see anyone with Santa.

Conductor: "Oye Sardaran! Why do you need two tickets? You are travelling alone?"

Santa Singh: "Dont you know.. pick-pocketing is common on buses... so I will keep one ticket in my shirts left pocket and the other in my right! So even if a pickpocket gets at one of my pockets, I will still have a ticket and will not travel without ticket!"

Conductor: "What if a pickpocket gets both your pockets?"

Santa Singh takes out his wallet from his pant pocket: "I have a monthly pass also!"

Conductor: "And if someone gets your pant pockets also.. then what.. then you will be fined for travelling without ticket!!"

Santa Singh puts his hand inside his shirt and displays his ID card (hanging with a chain around his neck) and says with a cunning smile: "Phir sadda DTC staff hone ka kya fayada!"

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