Which horse is mine?
Banta and Santa buy one race horse each after learning about big money in racing. Says Banta, "How do we identify which horse is mine and which one is yours?" Santa Singh replies, "I will cut the tail of my horse and so the horse without a tail will be mine and the one with a tail will be yours." So they cut the tail of the horse. But in the night their naughty kids cut the tail of the other horse too. And the next day.
Banta Singh is worried and says, "I will cut one of the ears of my horse so the horse with one ear will be mine and the other one will be yours." The next night the kids cut the other horses ears too. And so it goes on until the horses lost their ears, eyes, had broken noses etc. And in the end both horses were left only with bare legs and were just barely living. Both Santa and Banta were frustrated.
At last Banta says, "BAHUT HO GAYA. SAFED WALA GHORA MERA, KALA WALA TERA".
More Sardar Jokes
Once Banta Singh goes to dinner with his friends. Just to have some fun one of his friends asks Banta, "How many Idlis can you eat when your stomach is empty?". For which Banta answers promptly - "8 idlis". His friends laugh at him and say,nobody can eat 8 idlis when their stomach is empty because when they eat the first idli their stomach would no longer be empty.
Banta enjoys the joke very much and as soon as he comes home calls his wife and asks, "How many idlis can you eat when your stomach is empty?". She replies - "5 idlis".
Hearing this answer Banta gets furious and replies, "You fool! Had you said 8 idlis I would have told you a good joke!"
Santa Singh goes into an electrical goods store, you know one of these stores that sells fridges, TVs etc. Santa walks up to the salesman, points and says, "I want to buy this TV." The salesman say, "Sorry, we do not sell anything to surds." So Santa goes away and comes back two hours later after having a haircut, points and says, "I want to buy this TV." The salesman once again replies, "Sorry, we do not sell anything to surds." Santa goes away again and comes back two hours later with his beard and moustache also shaved, points, and says, "I want to buy this TV". The salesman once again replies, "Sorry, we do not sell anything to surds, Why are you wasting your and my time? Dont come back in the shop again!"
Santa says sheepishly, "OK, you do not sell to Surds. But tell me how did you figure out that I was a surd even after I had shaved my hair, moustache and beard.
The salesman replied, "Because that TV you want to buy is actually a microwave oven."
Santa went to England and stayed in hotel. He wanted to go to loo and went the toilet. He could not figure out where to do it so he decided to do it his socks.
He thought that he would throw them later. When he came out he realised that his room did not have any window. There was a small ventilator so he decided to throw the socks through the ventilator. Somehow he missed and the sock got tangled in the fan whic was running and... you know what happened?
Sheepishly he called the room service. Luckily they sent Banta Singh to attend to the call. Santa said, "Please dont tell anyone. I will give you 10 Pounds please clean this mess and dont tell anyone."
Banta replied, "I wont tell anyone. But I will give you 100 Pounds if you tell me how you did it?