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Hot and Cold

Hot and Cold

Santa goes into a store and sees a shiny object. He asks the clerk, "What is that shiny object?"

The clerk replies, "That is a thermos flask." Santa then asks, "What does it do?"

The clerk responds, "It keeps hot things hot and it keeps cold things cold." Santa says, "I'll take it!"

The next day, he walks into work with his new thermos. His sardar boss sees him and asks, "What is that shiny object with you?"

He said, "It s a thermos flask."

The boss then says, "What does it do?"

He replies, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."

The boss said, "Wow, what do you have in it?"

Santa replies, "Two cups of coffee and a coke."




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Kaun Banega Crorepate with Santa Singh

Santa Singh is the aggresive participant on Kaun Banega Crorepati.

Amitabh: Santaji, 5 sawal ka jawab diye to Rs. 10,000 jeetiye. 15 jawab par 1 crore! Aapke paas teen lifeline hain. Ek hazaar rupee ke liye aapka pehla sawaal:

Who is India's Prime Minister? A: Vajpayee B: Advani C: Zail Singh D: Amrish Puri?
Santa Singh: Vajpayee.

Amitabh: Sure?
Santa Singh: Yes, sure.

Amitabh: Confident?
Santa Singh: Yes

Amitabh: Absolutely sure?
Santa Singh: Yes Amitji.

Amitabh: Lock kar dein?
Santa Singh: Yes.


Amitabh: Sahee jawab! Aap ek hazaar rupee jeet gaye hain!

Santa Singh: Oye! Saale, ullu mat banaa! Paanch jawab diye hain puray dus hazaar nikaal!

Pet Names

Santa was invited to Banta's home for dinner, where he noticed that his buddy preceded every request to his wife with endearing terms, calling her Jalebi, Honey, Pyaari, Darling, Sweetheart etc. He was impressed, since the couple had been married almost 40 years.

While the wife was in the kitchen, Santa said, "I think it's wonderful that after all these years, you still call bhabhiji those pet names."

Banta hung his head. "To tell you the truth, I forgot her name about 10 years ago."

Santa Singh - The English Teacher

This one is about Santa Singhji... our English lecturer

Santa Singh ji is the English teacher in a school. He is very well renowned, since all his students do very well in exams.

The school is having an inspection and the inspector decided to visit the English class. This is what transpires :

Santa Singh : "Bolo bachon GADHA"
Students (in chorous) : "GADHA"

Santa Singh : "Bolo bachon GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA"
Students (in chorous) : "GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA"

Santa Singh : "Bolo bachon GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE MEIN"
Students (in chorous) : "GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE MEIN"

Santa Singh : "Bolo bachon GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE MEIN AUR MERE PECHE SAARA DESH"
Students (in chorous) : "GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE MEIN AUR MERE PECHE SAARA DESH"

By this time the inspector is furious. He confronts the principal and shouts at him "What is this Santa Singh teaching to students. He is supposed to be taking an English class and what he is saying is GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE MEIN AUR MERE PECHE SAARA DESH.

The principle too is shocked, Santa Singh the famous English teacher doing this. He immediately sends for for Santa Singh.

Principal : "Santa singh ji what nonsense are you telling these students, GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE MEIN AUR MERE PECHE SAARA DESH".

Santa Singh : "Yes I was telling all this in class, but I was only teaching the students the spellings of "ASSASSINATION".

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