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Santa Mathematics

Santa Mathematics

SANTA SINGH WHILE IN GRADE SCHOOL.

Teacher: What is 5 plus 4?
Santa Singh: 9

Teacher: What is 4 plus 5?
Santa Singh: Are you trying to fool me, you've just twisted the figure, the answer is 6!!




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Same Lunch

Once a bengali -Mr Sorabjit Chakroborty, a madrasi- Mr Vengaswami Iyer and a sardar- Santa Singh used to work in an office which was on the 20th floor of a building...so everyday they used to bring their lunch.

Mr Chakroborty used to bring fish and rice, Mr Iyer brought vada samber and Santa Singh used to bring paranthas in their lunch.. everyday they used to bring the same food in the office... all three were very sad coz their wives used to give them the same food everyday.. one day all the three decided that if they get the same food the next day also they will jump out of the window of their office which was at the 20th floor and commit suicide and also left a suicide note.

On the next day with same lunch (as was expected) all three jumped out of the window and died.. on the day of the funeral of the trio, Mrs Chakroborty and Mrs Iyer were crying and said "why didn't they tell us we could have had made them something different. Why did he leave me?"

At this Mrs Santa Singh also crying said "I don't know why he jumped as he himself used to cook the food."

Building A Tunnel

When tenders were floated for the channel tunnel to connect England & France, many international building companies vied with one another to get the contract. The stakes were very high, the job of digging building expertise.

Tenders were opened by the Board of Directors of the Anglo-French corporation which had taken on the project. British builders' estimates were over 200 million dollar, each, French and German builders were marginally lower.

There was one from India: Singh & Singh Builders whose estimate was only 5 million dollars. The Board was for ignoring the Indian tender but out of curiosity invited Singh & Singh over to discuss the plans.

Banta Singh & Santa Singh of Singh & Singh Builders appeared before the Board. The Chairman asked them "Have you any experience of undertaking this kind of work?"

"Indeed we have," replied the two Singhs, "we bored a lot of tubewells in the Punjab & Haryana. We can bore holes anywhere."

"This is not as simple. How will you connect the tunnel from the English side to the French?" "Simple," replied Santa Singh, "Banta Singh will dig from the French end and I from the English."

The Chairman was flabbergasted. "You don't realise that it will need a lot of accurate calculation to get the two tunnels to meet at the same point under the channel. Other companies' estimates are over 200 million dollars each & you think you can do the same job for 5 million dollars. How will that be possible?"

"What is bothering you?" demanded Singh and Singh, "if our two tunnels don't meet, instead of one we will give you two tunnels.

Two tickets more

A MAN appeared at the box office of a cinema and bought two tickets.

A few minutes later he returned and bought two more.

When, after a short interval, he appeared a third time and offered to pay for two more, the ticket-seller opened the little door in the glass and spoke up.

'Aren't you the same gentleman who just bought two tickets and two others just a little while ago?' she asked, puzzled. 'Yes,' replied Banta Singh plaintively,

'But there's some fool at the gate who keeps tearing them up!'

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