Duck a f**k

Duck a f**k

There was a man who had three sons. He gave each of them a duck and told them to go out and sell their duck for as much as possible.

The first son went out and sold his duck for $5, went home and told his dad what he had done. His father congratulated him and told him to go and buy himself a beer.

The second son also sold his duck for $5. His father congratulated him and told him to go and buy himself a beer.

The third son went out and saw a gorgeous blonde woman on the side of the road. He went up to her and said I'll give you my duck if you have sex with me. She considered it and said "Ok". They had sex and when they were done she said wow that was good, I'll give you your duck back if you'll do me again.The boy agreed.

While they were having sex again, the duck got loose and ran out into the road. They saw the duck escape and pulled their pants on but not quickly enough to prevent the duck from getting run over by a car. The driver jumped out of the car and said "I'm so sorry i killed your duck. I'll give you $40 dollars to make up for it.

When the third son finally returned home, his dad asked how much he had made. He said "I got a fuck for a duck, a duck for a fuck, and forty bucks for a fucked up duck."

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It will never work

A little boy walks into his parents bedroom to find his mother on top of his father, umping up and down. The mother spots her son and dismounts as the boy leaves the room.

Worried about what her son has seen, the mom quickly dresses and goes to find him in his bedroom.

The son asks, "What were you doing to Daddy, Mom?" The Mom replies, "Well, you know how Dad has a big tummy?"

The boy answers, "Yes he sure does."

"Well, I have to get on it sometimes to help flatten it," explained Mom.

The boy says, "You're just wasting your time, that will never work."

The Mom is confused, "Why not, son?"

"Because whenever you go shopping, the lady across the street comes over, gets down on her knees in the bedroom, an up!"

Raped By Elephant

This guy has been raped by an Elephant and rushes to a Doctor.

The Doctor asks him to bend over so he can examine his Rear. After the examination the doctor says," man your Anus is 12 inches wide, how come. I was given to understand that Elephants have Thin Long Penis's."

"Yeah", says the man, "But he fingered me first."

Horsie Ride

One day, little Billy comes home from kindergarten for lunch. Not finding his mother in the kitchen, or the living room, he heads upstairs to check her bedroom.

He opens the door, and what does he see, but his father, who had also come home for lunch, stripped naked, on top of his mother, also naked, heavily into the act of lovemaking.

Not wanting to traumatize the boy, the parents continue as if nothing was wrong. Billy watches and after a couple of minutes asks, "Daddy, can I climb on and have a horsie ride?"

"Of course, Son, we're family."

So Billy climbs on and after a few more minutes his mother starts moaning wildly.

"Hang on Dad!", I want to get off cries Billy, "this is where me and the mailman usually fall off!"

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