Mary Speaking

Mary Speaking

A friend of Pedro's calls up Heaven. A voice says" Virgin Mary speaking" The friend thinks "Ok ! Pedro has'nt reached heaven"

After a few months, he calls up again.A voice says "Virgin Mary speaking". The friend thinks," Ok! Pedro hasn't yet reached heaven!"

After a few months, the friend calls up again. A voice says "Mary speaking" The friend decides,"So! Pedro has reached Heaven"

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Male organ

3 characters of a male organ

a. courteous-it stands before it performing.
b. emotional-it cries during performance.
c. polite- it bows down after performance...

A man's sex life

It seems that when the good Lord was making the world, he called Man aside, and bestowed on him 20 years of a normal sex life. man was horrified, but the Creator refused to budge.

Then, the Lord called the monkey and gave him 20 years.

"But I don't need 20 years," said the monkey. "Ten is plenty."

Man spoke up and said: "May I have the other 10 years?" The monkey agreed.

The Lord called the lion, and also gave him 20 years. The lion too, wanted only 10.

Again, Man spoke up. "May I have the other 10 years?"

"Of course," said the lion.

Then, came the donkey, who was given 20 years. Like the others, 10 years was enough for him. Man again asked to the spare 10 years, and got them.

This explains why Man has 20 years of normal sex, 10 years of monkeying around, 10 years of lion about it and 10 years of making a jack@$$ of himself.

Religious boyfriend

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces that after dinner, she would like to go out and have sex for the first time. Of course, the boy is ecstatic.

He takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms.

The pharmacist helps the boy patiently. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex. At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy.

That night, the boy shows up at the girls parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh I'm so excited for your to meet my parents, come on in!" The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head.

Time passes, and MORE time. Finally the girlfriend finally leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious."

He hisses back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist!"

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