Pickle Slicer

Pickle Slicer

Mike worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion.

He had an urge to stick his organ into the pickle slicer. His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Mike indicated that he'd be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own.

One day a few weeks later, Mike came home absolutely ashen. His wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong.

"What's wrong, Mike?" she asked. "Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my organ into the pickle slicer?"

"Oh, Mike, you didn't."

"Yes, I did."

"My God, Mike, what happened?"

"I got fired."

"No, Mike. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?"

"Oh...she got fired too."

More Sexy Jokes

Whivh Floor

A guy and a gal meet in an elevator. The guy asks, "Which floor?"

The gal says, "Third floor."

The guy reads the list of offices on the wall and says, "Oh, going to give blood, I see."

She says, "Yup, it's worth $30.00. Which floor are you going to?"

He replies, "Sixth."

She says, "Oh, that's the sperm bank!"

He nods and says, "Right! and it's worth $100.00!"

A couple of weeks later, the same two meet in the elevator again. The guy says, "Third floor again?"

The gal, mouth tightly closed, cheeks puffed out, shakes her head and holds up 6 fingers!

Question & Answer

What's the speed limit of sex?
68 at 69 you have to turn around.

What's the ultimate rejection?
When you're masturbating and your hand falls asleep.

What is it when a man talks dirty to a woman?
Sexual harassment.

What are the two greatest lies?
"The check is in the mail," and "I promise I won't cum in your mouth."

What are three words you dread the most while making love?
"Honey, I'm home."

What's the definition of trust?
Two cannibals giving each other a blowjob.

Why is it called a Wonder Bra?
When she takes it off, you wonder where her tits went.

Why don't women blink during foreplay?
They don't have time.

Why does it take a million sperm to fertilize one egg?
Coz they don't stop for directions.

Sign language!

A man is doing yard work and his wife is about to take a shower. The man realizes that he can't find the rake. He yells up to his wife, "Where is the rake?"

She can't hear him and shouts back, "What?" The man first points to his eye, then points to his knee and finally makes a raking motion. The wife is not sure and says, "What?' and the man repeats his gestures. "EYE KNEE - THE RAKE"

The wife replies that she understands and signals back. She first points to her eye, next she points to her left breast, then she points to her butt, and finally to her crotch.

Well, there is no way in hell the man can even come close on that one. Exasperated, he goes upstairs and asks her "What in the hell was that?" She replies, "EYE - LEFT TIT - BEHIND - THE BUSH"

Show More Sexy Jokes