Q: What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
A: Hold on to your nuts this is no ordinary blowjob!

Q: What did the right nut say to the left nut?
A: The guy in the middle of us is a dick.

Q. Why do ballerinas wear leotards?
A. So they don't stick to the floor when they do the splits

Q. How do you embarrass an archeologist?
A. You give him a used tampon and ask what period it is from?

Q. What is the best thing about a blowjob?
A. Ten minutes of peaceful, comforting, relaxing .... silence

More Sexy Jokes

Different Asses

Need to describe your ass or someone else's over the Internet but want it to be visual? Well, how about some "assicons"? Here goes:

(_!_) A regular ass
(__!__) A fat ass
(__)(__) A "wide load" ass
(!) A tight ass
(_*_) A sore ass
{_!_} A swishy ass
(_o_) An ass that's been around
(_x_) Kiss my ass
(_X_) Leave my ass alone
(_zzz_) A tired ass
(_E=mc2_) A smart ass
(_?_) Dumb ass
(_Lame_) Lame ass
(_jack_) Jackass
(_-$_) Cheap ass
(_0_) A Prison ass
(_) Half ass
(®^®) Registered ass
(__|___) Lop sided ass
(_:_) 2 holed ass
(_O_) Cavernous ass (an ass that's REALLY been around)
(Mom)(__) Tattooed ass
(_)||(_) Fucked ass
()() Ass print on a window
( * * ) Ass with dimples
(_X X_) A kicked ass
(_%_) An average ass
(_$_) A rich ass
[_!_] A hard ass

I don't have a headache

When his wife's snoring woke him for the third straight night, Harry went to the bathroom medicine cabinet, got some aspirin and popped two tablets into her gaping mouth.

"Awk, glub!" choked his startled wife. "What the..."

"It's okay, honey. I gave you some aspirin," he explained.

"Why? I don't have a headache!"

"Great!" said Harry, "Let's fuck!"

Tarzan Taking Bath

Q:) Why did all the animals laugh at Tarzan when he was having a bath?


A:) Because they saw he had a tail in the front!

Show More Sexy Jokes