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Wife Scream

Wife Scream

Q:) What's the best way to make your wife scream when you're having sex??

A:) Call her up and tell her where you are !!




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Sex is Like Riding A Bike

Why Is Sex Like Riding A Bike?

1. You have to keep pumping if you want to get anywhere.

2. It's best to wear protective head-gear when going into unfamiliar territory.

3. You can do it with no hands, but it's best not to try it until you have a lot of experience.

4. It's easier to learn with the help of someone who has a lot of experience.

5. You can do it by yourself, but it's usually not as much fun.

6. It's usually hard to control your speed the first few times you try.

7. It's best to have a soft place to land.

8. You don't need any special clothing, but you can get some if you are really into it.

9. If you're with someone who is having trouble keeping up, it's usually best to slow down and wait for them.

10. Most people think it looks easy until they try it for the first time.

11. Once you learn, you never forget how.

12. If you fall off get right back on.

13. If you get a flat, try pumping it back up.

14. Remember to signal before you change direction.

15. Make sure that you've got a firm grip.

16. Sometimes it's nice to have a cushy seat.

17. Once you're over the top, you can just coast the rest of the way.

18. That's why some of them are called Mountin' Bikes.

Tid-Bits

Q: What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
A: Hold on to your nuts this is no ordinary blowjob!

Q: What did the right nut say to the left nut?
A: The guy in the middle of us is a dick.

Q. Why do ballerinas wear leotards?
A. So they don't stick to the floor when they do the splits

Q. How do you embarrass an archeologist?
A. You give him a used tampon and ask what period it is from?

Q. What is the best thing about a blowjob?
A. Ten minutes of peaceful, comforting, relaxing .... silence

Different Asses

Need to describe your ass or someone else's over the Internet but want it to be visual? Well, how about some "assicons"? Here goes:

(_!_) A regular ass
(__!__) A fat ass
(__)(__) A "wide load" ass
(!) A tight ass
(_*_) A sore ass
{_!_} A swishy ass
(_o_) An ass that's been around
(_x_) Kiss my ass
(_X_) Leave my ass alone
(_zzz_) A tired ass
(_E=mc2_) A smart ass
(_?_) Dumb ass
(_Lame_) Lame ass
(_jack_) Jackass
(_-$_) Cheap ass
(_0_) A Prison ass
(_) Half ass
(®^®) Registered ass
(__|___) Lop sided ass
(_:_) 2 holed ass
(_O_) Cavernous ass (an ass that's REALLY been around)
(Mom)(__) Tattooed ass
(_)||(_) Fucked ass
()() Ass print on a window
( * * ) Ass with dimples
(_X X_) A kicked ass
(_%_) An average ass
(_$_) A rich ass
[_!_] A hard ass

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