Bed room conversation!

Bed room conversation!

Husband: I won't be able to sleep afterwards.

Wife: I can't sleep without it.

Husband: Why do you think of things like this in the middle of the night?

Wife: Because I'm Hot.

Husband: You get hot at the darnest times.

Wife: If you love me I wouldn't have to beg you.

Husband: If you love me you'd be more considerate.

Wife: You don't love me anymore.

Husband: Yes I do, but let's forget it for tonight.

Wife: Booooooo ..!(Sob-Sob)

Husband: Alright, I'll do it.

Wife: What's the matter? Need a flashlight?

Husband: I can't find it.

Wife: Oh, for heaven's sake, feel for it.

Husband: There. Are you satisfied?

Wife: Oh, yes, honey.

Husband: Is it up far enough?

Wife: Oh, that's fine.

Husband: Now go to bed and from now on when you want the window open, do it yourself.

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Perfect P*n*s!

Dirty Johnny and his friends were enrolled in sex education. During the lecture, the teacher kept referring to a "penis". It was "penis" this and "penis" that. The class behaved as if it understood.

Immediately following class, all the students gathered around Dirty Johnny. "Johnny, what's a penis?" Nobody had a clue. Dirty Johnny said he would ask his Dad when he got home.

When Dirty Johnny got home, his Dad was there. "Dad, what's a 'penis'?" His father unzips his pants, shows Johnny his dick and says, "This is a perfect penis." Johnny replied, "Thanks, Dad. I'll tell my friends tomorrow in school."

The next day, all the students gathered around. "What did your Dad say, Dirty Johnny?" Johnny promptly unzips his pants and shows all his classmates his dick. "This is a penis. And if it were two inches shorter, it would be the perfect penis!"

Wife Scream

Q:) What's the best way to make your wife scream when you're having sex??

A:) Call her up and tell her where you are !!

Sex is Like Riding A Bike

Why Is Sex Like Riding A Bike?

1. You have to keep pumping if you want to get anywhere.

2. It's best to wear protective head-gear when going into unfamiliar territory.

3. You can do it with no hands, but it's best not to try it until you have a lot of experience.

4. It's easier to learn with the help of someone who has a lot of experience.

5. You can do it by yourself, but it's usually not as much fun.

6. It's usually hard to control your speed the first few times you try.

7. It's best to have a soft place to land.

8. You don't need any special clothing, but you can get some if you are really into it.

9. If you're with someone who is having trouble keeping up, it's usually best to slow down and wait for them.

10. Most people think it looks easy until they try it for the first time.

11. Once you learn, you never forget how.

12. If you fall off get right back on.

13. If you get a flat, try pumping it back up.

14. Remember to signal before you change direction.

15. Make sure that you've got a firm grip.

16. Sometimes it's nice to have a cushy seat.

17. Once you're over the top, you can just coast the rest of the way.

18. That's why some of them are called Mountin' Bikes.

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