Red Ring

A man goes to his doctor and says, "Doctor, Doctor, please help me! I've got a problem."

The doctor examines the man and sees that the man has a red ring around his penis. The doctor gives him an ointment and asks him to go home and rub on the problem area.

Just moments after he applied the ointment the things gets cleared up this guy is really impressed how fast it worked and wonders this must be super wonder medicine, so he calls up the doctor and says "It's all cleared up!, But what was that medication you gave me?"

Doctor: "Lipstick remover."




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Bed room conversation!

Husband: I won't be able to sleep afterwards.

Wife: I can't sleep without it.

Husband: Why do you think of things like this in the middle of the night?

Wife: Because I'm Hot.

Husband: You get hot at the darnest times.

Wife: If you love me I wouldn't have to beg you.

Husband: If you love me you'd be more considerate.

Wife: You don't love me anymore.

Husband: Yes I do, but let's forget it for tonight.

Wife: Booooooo ..!(Sob-Sob)

Husband: Alright, I'll do it.

Wife: What's the matter? Need a flashlight?

Husband: I can't find it.

Wife: Oh, for heaven's sake, feel for it.

Husband: There. Are you satisfied?

Wife: Oh, yes, honey.

Husband: Is it up far enough?

Wife: Oh, that's fine.

Husband: Now go to bed and from now on when you want the window open, do it yourself.

Perfect P*n*s!

Dirty Johnny and his friends were enrolled in sex education. During the lecture, the teacher kept referring to a "penis". It was "penis" this and "penis" that. The class behaved as if it understood.

Immediately following class, all the students gathered around Dirty Johnny. "Johnny, what's a penis?" Nobody had a clue. Dirty Johnny said he would ask his Dad when he got home.

When Dirty Johnny got home, his Dad was there. "Dad, what's a 'penis'?" His father unzips his pants, shows Johnny his dick and says, "This is a perfect penis." Johnny replied, "Thanks, Dad. I'll tell my friends tomorrow in school."

The next day, all the students gathered around. "What did your Dad say, Dirty Johnny?" Johnny promptly unzips his pants and shows all his classmates his dick. "This is a penis. And if it were two inches shorter, it would be the perfect penis!"

Wife Scream

Q:) What's the best way to make your wife scream when you're having sex??

A:) Call her up and tell her where you are !!

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