Adventures of Jack & Jill

Adventures of Jack & Jill

Jack and Jill, are out for a romantic walk along a country lane They walk hand in hand and as they stroll, Jack's lustful desire rises to a peak. He is just about to get frisky when Jill says, "I hope you don't mind but I really do need to piss."

Slightly taken back by this he replies, "OK Why don't you go behind this hedge."

She nods and disappears behind the hedge.

As Jack waits there he hears the sound of nylon knickers rolling down here legs and imagines what is being exposed.

Unable to control his thoughts a moment longer, Jack reaches a hand through the hedge and touches her leg. He quickly brings his hand further up her thigh until suddenly and with great astonishment finds himself gripping a long, thick appendage hanging between her legs.

Jack shouts in horror, "Oh no, Jill....... have you changed your sex?"

"No," she replies. "But I changed my mind, I'm taking a shit instead."

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New drink

Pfizer Corp is making the anouncment today that VIAGRA will soon be availible in liquid form and will be marketed by the Pepsi Cola Comp as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer.

It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a "stiff" one.

Obviously we can no longer call this a "soft" drink, and it gives new meaning to the names "cocktails", "highballs", and just a good old fashioned "stiff drink". Pepsi will be marketing the new concoction be the name of "mount and do"

Hair on Chest

A woman asks her husband to buy her a fur coat for their 25th anniversary.

"HA," he snorted, "The day I buy you a fur coat will be the day you can grow hair on your chest!"

On that she hikes up her skirt, drops her panties, and thrusts her pubic area forward. "There! I have hair on my chest, now buy me a fur coat."

"That's not your chest!" he roars back.

"Damn right it's my chest," she argued, "Before we got married, this was your hope chest. On our honeymoon, it was your treasure chest. Afterwards it became our family chest. AND IF YOU DON'T BUY ME A FUR COAT, IT WILL SOON BECOME THE COMMUNITY CHEST!"

Judging the Size

A woman sought the advice of a sex therapist, confiding that she found it increasingly difficult to find a man who could satisfy her, and that it was very wearisome getting in and out of all these short term relationships.

"Isn't there some way to judge the size of a man's equipment from the outside?" she asked earnestly.

"The only foolproof way, is by the size of his feet," counseled the therapist.

So the woman went downtown and proceeded to cruise the streets, until she came across a young fellow standing in an unemployment line with the biggest feet she had ever laid her eyes on. She took him out to dinner, wined and dined him, and then took him back to her apartment for the evening.

When the man woke up the next morning, the woman had already gone but, by the bedside table was a $20 bill and a note that read, "With my compliments, take this money and go out and buy a pair of shoes that fit you."

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