Insurance Companies

Insurance Companies

Four insurance companies are in competition. One comes up with the slogan, "Coverage from the cradle to the grave."

The second one tries to improve on that with, "Coverage from the womb to the tomb."

Not to be outdone, the third one comes up with, "From the sperm to the worm."

The fourth insurance company really thought hard and almost gave up the race, but finally came up with, "From the erection to the resurrection."

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Adventures of Jack & Jill

Jack and Jill, are out for a romantic walk along a country lane They walk hand in hand and as they stroll, Jack's lustful desire rises to a peak. He is just about to get frisky when Jill says, "I hope you don't mind but I really do need to piss."

Slightly taken back by this he replies, "OK Why don't you go behind this hedge."

She nods and disappears behind the hedge.

As Jack waits there he hears the sound of nylon knickers rolling down here legs and imagines what is being exposed.

Unable to control his thoughts a moment longer, Jack reaches a hand through the hedge and touches her leg. He quickly brings his hand further up her thigh until suddenly and with great astonishment finds himself gripping a long, thick appendage hanging between her legs.

Jack shouts in horror, "Oh no, Jill....... have you changed your sex?"

"No," she replies. "But I changed my mind, I'm taking a shit instead."

New drink

Pfizer Corp is making the anouncment today that VIAGRA will soon be availible in liquid form and will be marketed by the Pepsi Cola Comp as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer.

It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a "stiff" one.

Obviously we can no longer call this a "soft" drink, and it gives new meaning to the names "cocktails", "highballs", and just a good old fashioned "stiff drink". Pepsi will be marketing the new concoction be the name of "mount and do"

Hair on Chest

A woman asks her husband to buy her a fur coat for their 25th anniversary.

"HA," he snorted, "The day I buy you a fur coat will be the day you can grow hair on your chest!"

On that she hikes up her skirt, drops her panties, and thrusts her pubic area forward. "There! I have hair on my chest, now buy me a fur coat."

"That's not your chest!" he roars back.

"Damn right it's my chest," she argued, "Before we got married, this was your hope chest. On our honeymoon, it was your treasure chest. Afterwards it became our family chest. AND IF YOU DON'T BUY ME A FUR COAT, IT WILL SOON BECOME THE COMMUNITY CHEST!"

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