Two teenage boys turned up at church and the first went in for confession. He told the priest he'd had sex the night before.

"Who was the girl involved?" asked the priest.

"I don't know, it was dark," replied the boy.

"Was it Bernadette McLafferty?"

The boy said he still didn't know.

"Was it Theresa O'Hare.........or Rosemary McGinty?" asked the priest.

"I don't know, it was too dark," insisted the boy.

"Could it have been Anne-Marie, the baker's daughter?" asked the priest.

The boy continued to deny any knowledge of the girl's identity.

Finally, the exasperated priest sent the boy away and told him to return when he could reveal the girl's name.

Outside his friend was waiting anxiously.

"Did you get to know the girl" he asked.

"Naw," said his pal, "but I got four good leads for this Saturday night!"

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Insurance Companies

Four insurance companies are in competition. One comes up with the slogan, "Coverage from the cradle to the grave."

The second one tries to improve on that with, "Coverage from the womb to the tomb."

Not to be outdone, the third one comes up with, "From the sperm to the worm."

The fourth insurance company really thought hard and almost gave up the race, but finally came up with, "From the erection to the resurrection."

Adventures of Jack & Jill

Jack and Jill, are out for a romantic walk along a country lane They walk hand in hand and as they stroll, Jack's lustful desire rises to a peak. He is just about to get frisky when Jill says, "I hope you don't mind but I really do need to piss."

Slightly taken back by this he replies, "OK Why don't you go behind this hedge."

She nods and disappears behind the hedge.

As Jack waits there he hears the sound of nylon knickers rolling down here legs and imagines what is being exposed.

Unable to control his thoughts a moment longer, Jack reaches a hand through the hedge and touches her leg. He quickly brings his hand further up her thigh until suddenly and with great astonishment finds himself gripping a long, thick appendage hanging between her legs.

Jack shouts in horror, "Oh no, Jill....... have you changed your sex?"

"No," she replies. "But I changed my mind, I'm taking a shit instead."

New drink

Pfizer Corp is making the anouncment today that VIAGRA will soon be availible in liquid form and will be marketed by the Pepsi Cola Comp as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer.

It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a "stiff" one.

Obviously we can no longer call this a "soft" drink, and it gives new meaning to the names "cocktails", "highballs", and just a good old fashioned "stiff drink". Pepsi will be marketing the new concoction be the name of "mount and do"

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