There once was a man who decided he hated his life in the city, and that he was going to live in a nudist colony instead.

As he was a respected man, he decided it would be best for him to just say he was moving to New York. After a few months of naked bliss, he got a letter from his mother saying, "Dear son, as I have no recent photos of you, can you please send me the most recent one you have? Love, Mum."

Well, the man didn't have any photos of himself that didn't show him naked, so he decided to chop one in half and send just the top half. A few weeks later, he got a letter from his mum saying, "Thanks for the photo, and could you send another to your grandma?" And so he did, BUT...he made a mistake and sent her the wrong half. The man got really upset but then remembered his Gran's poor eyesight, and he decided it would be okay.

Two weeks later, he gets a letter back from his Gran saying: "Dear Jerry, I think your photo is great. But you really should change your hairstyle, as it
makes your nose look too big."

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Sexual Disease

A richman often went to bangkok for the night life and before long he contracted sexual disease. So one day, he went to the doctor for a checkup.

The doctor examine his private part and said, "This is a very severe case. We have no other way but to cut it away. otherwise, it will spread and become worse."

The businessman was shocked. the last thing he wanted was to have it cut and end his night life. He went to other doctors but all gave the same diagnosis.

Desperate he thought, " why don't I consult traditional chinese medicine. They might have some surprises"

So, the chinese doctor gave him an examination and the doctor said," We don't have to cut. I'll give you herbs to rub."

The richman was so happy. "Wow no operation, you are better than western medicine. I'm amazed, So what is the exact secret?"

The chinese doctor said, "Just wait for three days. It will drop by itself."

Red Ribbon

Two girls are walking down the street when they notice a drunk guy with a kilt on. The first girl says to the second, "I heard they don't wear any underwear under those things.

Go check!" So the second girl does, and sure enough, the guy isn't wearing any underwear. The first girl takes a red ribbon out of her hair and says, giggling, "Go put this on his dick!" The second girl ties it on, and they walk off still giggling.

Soon thereafter the drunk guy comes to and looks down at his dick. "Wow!" he says, "I don't know what I did last night, but I must've been good-- I won first place!"

Mary Speaking

A friend of Pedro's calls up Heaven. A voice says" Virgin Mary speaking" The friend thinks "Ok ! Pedro has'nt reached heaven"

After a few months, he calls up again.A voice says "Virgin Mary speaking". The friend thinks," Ok! Pedro hasn't yet reached heaven!"

After a few months, the friend calls up again. A voice says "Mary speaking" The friend decides,"So! Pedro has reached Heaven"

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