Are you asleep?

Are you asleep?

Two guys went camping. In the middle of the night, one asked the other, "Are you asleep?"


"Are you masturbating?"


"Are you having trouble getting it up?"


"Well, why don't you try using yours instead?!"

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Back from honeymoon

The newly-wed couple comes back from the honeymoon.

A friend asks the groom: "Did you enjoy 'the whole thing'?"

The groom answers: "Yes, I enjoyed the 'hole' and she enjoyed the 'thing' !!'

Same Symptoms

A worried father telephoned his family doctor and said that he was afraid that his teenaged son had come down with V.D.

"He says he hasn't had sex with anyone but the maid, so it has to be her."

"Don't worry too much," advised the doctor. "These things happen."

"I know, doctor," said the father, "but I have to admit that I've been sleeping with the maid also. I seem to have the same symptoms."

"That's unfortunate."

"Not only that, I think I've passed it to my wife."

"Oh God," said the doc, "That means we all have it."

Condom 'n' Govt

A condom is like a government
It stands up to inflation
Halts production
Protect the bunch of pricks
A give you a sence of protection while being screwed.

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