The Great Wrestler

The Great Wrestler

Tom Shultz, greatest wrestler in all of America, has never been beaten. Tom, undefeated champion of the USA, confident in his title, decides to take on the world. He goes to China, and wins. He goes to Europe, and wins.

Tom goes all over the world and remains undefeated, but for one man in Russia, that his trainer refuses to let him wrestle. Finally, his trainer gives in, and they both go to Russia. "Listen to me Tom," his trainer says in a whisper before the match, "your good, by far the best I've ever trained, but this guy has a move that no one has ever been able to get out of... the double pretzel. If you can nullify that move, you might win this match. If you don't, you're done for."

The match begins.

The two big men circle, sizing each other up. Suddenly, the Russian lunges for Tom, and catches him. Before Tom even knows what's happening, he is bent up into the double pretzel, all his limbs totally useless against the Russian giant. Tom sees his only chance; hanging before his eyes is a big, hairy, sweating nut sac.

In Tom's moment of desperation, he reaches out and bites the balls as hard as he can. Suddenly he breaks free, out of the un-stoppable double pretzel, and much to the surprise of all watching, preceded to quickly defeat the undefeatable giant Russian.

Toms trainer was there in an instant, leaning over to Tom and asking in no more than a whisper, "How did you break out of the double pretzel, that was supposed to be impossible!!' Tom, cool, calm, and collected, replies with his shoulders back, head held high, "Coach, You'd be amazed at the strength you can muster when you bite down on your own balls."

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Spiritualism and Reincarnation

Two lovers interested in spiritualism and reincarnation vowed that if either died, the one remaining would try to contact the partner in the other world exactly 30 days after their dying.

As luck would have it, a few weeks later the young man died in a car wreck.

True to her word, his sweetheart tried to contact him in the spirit world exactly 30 days later.

At a seance, she called out, "John, dear John; this is Martha. Do you hear me, John?"

A ghostly voice answered her, "Yes, Martha, this is John; I can hear you."

Martha tearfully asked, "Oh, John, what's it like where you are?"

"It's beautiful. There are azure skies, a soft breeze, sunshine most of the time."

"What do you do all day?"

"Well, Martha, we are up before sunrise, eat some good breakfast, then it's nothing but sex until noon. After lunch, we nap until two and then we have sex again until five. After dinner, we go at it again until we fall asleep around 11 p.m."

Martha was somewhat taken aback. "Is that what Heaven really is like?"

"Heaven? I'm not in Heaven, Martha."

"Then, where are you?"

"I'm a jack the rabbit in Arizona!"

Parking Lot

The preacher got up in church one Sunday morning and told the congregation, "Brothers and sisters, we are going to have to do something about people parking behind the church at night. I was out there this morning and there are enough beer cans out there to build a car."

One of the old sisters stood up and said, "Amen brother and enough rubbers to put tires on it."

Are you asleep?

Two guys went camping. In the middle of the night, one asked the other, "Are you asleep?"


"Are you masturbating?"


"Are you having trouble getting it up?"


"Well, why don't you try using yours instead?!"

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