I'd Rather Have a Puppy

I'd Rather Have a Puppy

A little boy and his dad were walking down the street whan they saw two dogs having sex. The little boy asks his father "Daddy, what are they doing?" The father says, "Making a puppy." So they walk on and go home.

A few days later, the little boy walks in on his parents having sex.

The little boy says, "Daddy, what are you doing?"

The father replies, "Making a baby."

The little boy says, "Well, flip her around! I'd rather have a puppy instead!"

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The lion tamer

A circus owner runs an advert for a lion tamer and two people show up. One is a good-looking older man in his mid-sixties and the other is a gorgeous blonde in her mid-twenties.

The circus owner tells them, "I'm not going to sugar coat it. This is one ferocious lion. He ate my last tamer so you guys better be good or you're
history. Here's your equipment -- chair, whip and a gun. Who wants to try out first?"

The girl says, "I'll go first." She walks past the chair, the whip and the gun and steps right into the lion's cage. The lion starts to snarl and pant and begins to charge her.

When the lion is about half way there, she throws open her coat revealing her beautiful naked body. The lion stops dead in his tracks, sheepishly crawls up to her and starts licking her feet and ankles. He continues to lick and kiss her entire body for several minutes and then rests his head at her feet.

The circus owner's mouth is on the floor. He says, "I've never seen a display like that in my life." He then turns to the older man and asks, "Can you top that?"

The older man replies, "No problem, just get that damn lion out of the way."

Something Borrowed, Something Blew

A groom passes down the aisle of the church to take his place by the altar and the best man notices that the groom has the biggest, brightest smile on his face.

The best man says, "Hey man, I know you are happy to be getting married, but what's up, you look so excited?"

The groom replies, "I just had the best oral sex I have ever had in my entire life and I am marrying the wonderful woman who gave it to me."

The bride comes walking down the aisle and she, too, has the biggest, brightest smile on her face.

The maid of honor notices this and says, "Hey, I know you are happy to be getting married, but what's up, you look so excited?"

The bride replies, "I have just given the last blow of my entire life."

The New Penis Tax!

Don't Forget to Pay all of Your Taxes!

The Tax days are near, so please read the following to make certain that you have paid all of your taxes for either yourself or your husband or boyfriend.

The only thing any Government has not taxed is the male penis. This is due to the fact that:

40 % of the time it is hanging around unemployed.

20 % of the time it is pissed off,

30 % of the time it is hard up

10 % of the time it is in the hole.

On top of this it has two dependents and both of them are nuts! According to the income tax ammendment act 2005, your penis will be taxed
according to its size.

To determine your category, please refer to Schedule 2 of the Income Tax return Form 8 which states the following:

10 to 12 inches ------ Luxury tax -------- $ 50.00

8 to 10 inches ------- Pole tax ------------ $ 45.00

5 to 8 inches -------- Privilege Tax ------ $ 40.00

3 to 5 inches -------- Standard Tax ------ $ 30.00

Anyone under 3 inches is entitled to a refund of 20 % and special relief as a handicapped person.

Those who exceed 12 inches will be liable for Capital Gains Tax. If you have any queries, please contact the nearest Tax office.

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