The Word FUCK
Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the English language today is the word "FUCK". It is the one magical word which, just by its sound, can describe pain, pleasure, love, and hate.
In language, "fuck" falls into many grammatical categories.
It can be used as a verb, both transitive (John fucked Mary) and intransitive (Mary was fucked by John).
It can be an action verb (John really gives a fuck), a passive verb (Mary really doesn't give a fuck), an adverb (Mary is fucking interested in John), or as a noun (Mary is a terrific fuck).
It can also be used as an adjective (Mary is fucking beautiful) or an interjection (Fuck! I'm late for my date with Mary).
It can even be used as a conjunction (Mary is easy, fuck she's also stupid).
As you can see, there are very few words with the overall versatility of the word "fuck". Aside from its sexual connotations, this incredible word can be used to describe many situations...
Greetings "How the fuck are ya?"
Fraud "I got fucked by the car dealer."
Resignation "Oh, fuck it!"
Trouble "I guess I'm fucked now."
Aggression "FUCK YOU!"
Disgust "Fuck me."
Confusion "What the fuck.......?"
Difficulty "I don't understand this fucking business!"
Despair "Fucked again..."
Pleasure "I fucking couldn't be happier."
Displeasure "What the fuck is going on here?"
Lost "Where the fuck are we."
Disbelief "UNFUCKING BELIEVABLE!"
Retaliation "Up your fucking ass!"
Denial "I didn't fucking do it."
Perplexity "I know fuck all about it."
Apathy "Who really gives a fuck, anyhow?"
Greetings "How the fuck are ya?"
Suspicion "Who the fuck are you?"
Panic "Let's get the fuck out of here."
Directions "Fuck off."
Disbelief "How the fuck did you do that?"
It can be used in an anatomical description- "He's a fucking asshole."
It can be used to tell time- "It's five fucking thirty."
It can be used in business- "How did I wind up with this fucking job?"
1. What's in front of a woman and back of a cow?
A: The letter W
2. What's starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?
3. What's about 6 inches long, has a vein running down it and women love to get their hands on?
A: 100 bucks note
4. What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?
5. What is that a woman has two and a cow has four?
6. I go in hard. I come out soft. You blow me hard.
A: Chewing gum
7. I assist an erection. Sometimes big balls hang from me. I'm called a big swinger.
8. You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up I get wet before you do.
9. When I go in I cause pain. I cause you to spit and ask you not to swallow. I can fill your hole.
10. A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first.
A: Wedding Ring
11. All day long, it's in and out. I charge loads from my shaft. Both men and women go down on me.
12. I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.
13. If I miss, I hit your bush. It's my job to stuff your box. When come, it's news.
A: Newspaper boy
14. I offer Protection. I get the finger ten times. You use your fingers to get me off.
More Sexy Jokes
The Word FUCK
A little boy and his dad were walking down the street whan they saw two dogs having sex. The little boy asks his father "Daddy, what are they doing?" The father says, "Making a puppy." So they walk on and go home.
A few days later, the little boy walks in on his parents having sex.
The little boy says, "Daddy, what are you doing?"
The father replies, "Making a baby."
The little boy says, "Well, flip her around! I'd rather have a puppy instead!"
A circus owner runs an advert for a lion tamer and two people show up. One is a good-looking older man in his mid-sixties and the other is a gorgeous blonde in her mid-twenties.
The circus owner tells them, "I'm not going to sugar coat it. This is one ferocious lion. He ate my last tamer so you guys better be good or you're
history. Here's your equipment -- chair, whip and a gun. Who wants to try out first?"
The girl says, "I'll go first." She walks past the chair, the whip and the gun and steps right into the lion's cage. The lion starts to snarl and pant and begins to charge her.
When the lion is about half way there, she throws open her coat revealing her beautiful naked body. The lion stops dead in his tracks, sheepishly crawls up to her and starts licking her feet and ankles. He continues to lick and kiss her entire body for several minutes and then rests his head at her feet.
The circus owner's mouth is on the floor. He says, "I've never seen a display like that in my life." He then turns to the older man and asks, "Can you top that?"
The older man replies, "No problem, just get that damn lion out of the way."