A teacher was working with a group of children, trying to broaden their horizons through sensory perception. She brought in a variety of lifesavers and said, " Children, I would like you to close your eyes and taste these."

The kids easily identified the taste of the cherries, lemons and mint, but when the teacher gave them honey-flavored lifesavers, all of the kids were stumped. "I'll give you a hint," said the teacher.

"It's something your daddy and mommy probably call each other all of the time." Instantly, one of the kids coughed his onto the floor and shouted, " Spit'em out, guys! They're assholes!"

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Silent Debate

Several centuries ago, the Pope decreed that all the Jews had to leave Italy. There was, of course, a huge outcry from the Jewish community, so the Pope offered a deal. He would have a religious debate with a leader of the Jewish community. If the Jewish leader won the debate, the Jews would be permitted to stay in Italy. If the Pope won, the Jews would have to leave.

The Jewish community met and picked an aged Rabbi, Moishe, to represent them in the debate. Rabbi Moishe, however, could not speak Latin and the Pope could not speak Yiddish. So it was decided that this would be a "silent" debate.

On the day of the great debate, the Pope and Rabbi Moishe sat opposite each other for a full minute before the Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers.

Rabbi Moishe looked back and raised one finger.

Next, the Pope waved his finger around his head.

Rabbi Moishe pointed to the ground where he sat.

The Pope then brought out a communion wafer and chalice of wine.

Rabbi Moishe pulled out an apple. With that, the Pope stood up and said, "I concede the debate. This man has bested me. The Jews can stay."

Later, the Cardinals gathered around the Pope, asking him what had happened.

The Pope said, "First I held up three fingers to represent the Trinity. He responded by holding up one finger to remind me that there was still one God common to both our religions. Then I waved my finger around me to show him that God was all around us. He responded by pointing to the ground to show that God was also right here with us. I pulled out the wine and the wafer to show that God absolves us of our sins. He pulled out an apple to remind me of original sin. He had an answer for everything. What could I do?"

Meanwhile, the Jewish community crowded around Rabbi Moishe, asking what happened. "Well," said Moishe, "first he said to me, 'You Jews have three days to get out of here.' So I said to him, 'Up yours'. Then he tells me the whole city would be cleared of Jews. So I said to him, 'Listen here Mr. Pope, the Jews ... we stay right here!"

"And then?" asked a woman.

"Who knows?" said Rabbi Moishe. "We broke for lunch."


1. What's in front of a woman and back of a cow?
A: The letter W

2. What's starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?
A: Coconut

3. What's about 6 inches long, has a vein running down it and women love to get their hands on?
A: 100 bucks note

4. What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?
A: Bubblegum

5. What is that a woman has two and a cow has four?
A: Legs

6. I go in hard. I come out soft. You blow me hard.
A: Chewing gum

7. I assist an erection. Sometimes big balls hang from me. I'm called a big swinger.
A: Crane

8. You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up I get wet before you do.
A: Tent

9. When I go in I cause pain. I cause you to spit and ask you not to swallow. I can fill your hole.
A: Dentist

10. A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first.
A: Wedding Ring

11. All day long, it's in and out. I charge loads from my shaft. Both men and women go down on me.
A: Elevator

12. I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.
A: Nose

13. If I miss, I hit your bush. It's my job to stuff your box. When come, it's news.
A: Newspaper boy

14. I offer Protection. I get the finger ten times. You use your fingers to get me off.
A: Glove

The Word

The Word FUCK

Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the English language today is the word "FUCK". It is the one magical word which, just by its sound, can describe pain, pleasure, love, and hate.

In language, "fuck" falls into many grammatical categories.

It can be used as a verb, both transitive (John fucked Mary) and intransitive (Mary was fucked by John).

It can be an action verb (John really gives a fuck), a passive verb (Mary really doesn't give a fuck), an adverb (Mary is fucking interested in John), or as a noun (Mary is a terrific fuck).

It can also be used as an adjective (Mary is fucking beautiful) or an interjection (Fuck! I'm late for my date with Mary).

It can even be used as a conjunction (Mary is easy, fuck she's also stupid).

As you can see, there are very few words with the overall versatility of the word "fuck". Aside from its sexual connotations, this incredible word can be used to describe many situations...

Greetings "How the fuck are ya?"

Fraud "I got fucked by the car dealer."

Resignation "Oh, fuck it!"

Trouble "I guess I'm fucked now."

Aggression "FUCK YOU!"

Disgust "Fuck me."

Confusion "What the fuck.......?"

Difficulty "I don't understand this fucking business!"

Despair "Fucked again..."

Pleasure "I fucking couldn't be happier."

Displeasure "What the fuck is going on here?"

Lost "Where the fuck are we."


Retaliation "Up your fucking ass!"

Denial "I didn't fucking do it."

Perplexity "I know fuck all about it."

Apathy "Who really gives a fuck, anyhow?"

Greetings "How the fuck are ya?"

Suspicion "Who the fuck are you?"

Panic "Let's get the fuck out of here."

Directions "Fuck off."

Disbelief "How the fuck did you do that?"

It can be used in an anatomical description- "He's a fucking asshole."

It can be used to tell time- "It's five fucking thirty."

It can be used in business- "How did I wind up with this fucking job?"

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