Thumb stuck in the food

Thumb stuck in the food

A man goes into a restaurant and orders soup. When the waiter brings out the bowl he has his thumb stuck in the soup, but the customer decides to let it go.

"Would you like anything else?" the waiter inquires. "We have some very good roast beef today." "Sounds good," says the customer. So the waiter goes off and comes back with a plate of roast beef, and his thumb is in the gravy. The customer is getting pissed now, but decides to hold his tongue.

"How about some hot apple pie?" asks the waiter. "Fine," says the customer. The waiter returns with his thumb stuck in the pie. Now the customer is really getting furious.

"Coffee?" asks the waiter, and when the customer nods yes, he hurries off. He returns with his thumb stuck in the cup of coffee. By now the customer can no longer restrain himself.

Customer - "What the hell do you think you're doing? Every time you've come to the table you've had your thumb stuck in my food!"

Waiter - "I've got an infection and my doctor told me to keep my thumb in a hot, moist place."

Customer - "Why don't you just stick it up your ass?"

Waiter - "Where do you think I put it when I'm in the kitchen?"

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Two daughters had been given parts in a Christmas pageant at their Church. At dinner that night, they got into an argument as to who had the most important role.

Finally the 10 year old said to her younger sister, "Well you just ask Mom. She'll tell you it's much harder to be a virgin than it is to be an angel."


Once a boy was having his school examination. As soon as he got the question paper, he started stripping below his waist.

The shocked teacher asked him what he was doing.

The reply was, "The examination paper says 'Write in brief'!"


A teacher was working with a group of children, trying to broaden their horizons through sensory perception. She brought in a variety of lifesavers and said, " Children, I would like you to close your eyes and taste these."

The kids easily identified the taste of the cherries, lemons and mint, but when the teacher gave them honey-flavored lifesavers, all of the kids were stumped. "I'll give you a hint," said the teacher.

"It's something your daddy and mommy probably call each other all of the time." Instantly, one of the kids coughed his onto the floor and shouted, " Spit'em out, guys! They're assholes!"

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