Two guys are out hiking. All of a sudden, a bear starts chasing them. They climb a tree, but the bear starts climbing up the tree after them. The first guy gets his sneakers out of his knapsack and starts putting them on. The second guy says, "What are you doing? He says, "I figure when the bear gets close to us, well jump down and make a run for it." The second guy says, "Are you crazy? You can't outrun a bear." The first guy says, "I don't have to outrun the *bear*... I only have to outrun *you.*"
Heaven and Hell?
Heaven is When: One has the American Salary, British home, Chinese Food, and Indian Wife
Hell is when: One has the American Wife, British Food, Chinese Home, Indian salary.
More Funny Jokes
One lady to another "everyone praised on my birthday party. I made a 2 feet long cake and lit 25 candles on it."
The other replies " only 25. where the candles lit both the sides"
The teacher of the school geography class was lecturing on map reading.
After explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees and minutes the teacher asked:
"Suppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, 4 minutes north latitude and 45 degrees, 15 minutes east longitude...?"
After a confused silence, little Johnny volunteered - "I guess you'd be eating alone!"