Caught Red Handed

Caught Red Handed

A blonde suspects her boyfriend is cheating on her, so she buys a gun and puts it in her purse. Then she goes over to her boyfriend's apartment the very next day. As she throws the door open, she sees her boyfriend making out with some girl on the couch.

"I knew it!" the blonde screams, and she takes out the gun. Then, utterly distraught, she points it at her own head.

"No, honey!" the boyfriend yells, "Don't do it, please!"

"Shut up!" the blonde replies, "You're next!"

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Want Some Milk

Gloria the blonde once heard that milk baths would make you beautiful. She left a note for her milkman Alan to leave 15 gallons of milk.

When Alan read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 1.5 gallons, so he knocked on the door to clarify the order.

Gloria came to the door, and Alan said, "I found your note to leave 15 gallons of milk. Did you mean 15 gallons or 1.5 gallons?"

Gloria said, "I want 15 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath."

Alan asked, "Oh, alright, would you like it pasteurized?"

Gloria replied, "No, just up to my waist."

Question and Answer Blond Jokes - 1

Q: What do you call a blonde with a brand new PC?
A: A dumb terminal.

Q: Why are blonde jokes so easy to understand?
A: So brunettes can understand them.

Q: How did the blond burn her ear?
A: The phone rang while she was ironing.

Q: There are 17 blonds standing outside a disco but why couldn't they get in?
A: The sign said "must be 18 to enter".

Q: Why are there no brunette jokes?
A: Because blondes would have to think them up.

Q: How does a blonde make instant pudding?
A: She places the box in the microwave and looks for the "instant pudding setting" button.

Q: Did you hear about the blonde that went to library and checked out a book called "How to Hug"?
A: When she got back to the dorm and found out it was volume seven of the encyclopedia.

Q: What do you call 24 blondes in a cardboard box?
A: A case of empties.

Question and Answer Blond Jokes - 2

Q: What stops then goes then stops then goes?
A: A blonde at a blinking red light.

Q: Did you hear about Pepsi's new soda just for blondes?
A: It has "open other end" printed on the bottom.

Q: Why do blondes always rapidly flap their hands towards theirs ears?
A: They're refuelling.

Q: Why did the blonde purchase an AM radio?
A: She didn't want one for nights.

Q: What about the blonde who gave birth to twins?
A: Her husband is out looking for the other man.

Q: Did you hear about the dead blonde in the closet?
A: She was last years hide and seek winner.

Q: What is dumber than a brunette building a fire under the water?
A: A blonde trying to put it out.

Q: Why did the blonde buy a brown cow?
A: To get chocolate milk.

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