Just Some thoughts
1. Since light travels faster than sound, that is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
2. What does not ask questions but get pressed for an answer? - Door bell
3. What is the longest word in an English dictionary? - Smiles, because there is a mile between the first "s" and the last "s".
4. Before marriage they were like Romeo and Juliet. Now they are like Bill and Hillary Clinton
5. An archaelogist makes a better husband because as the wife gets older, he will show more interest in her.
More Funny Jokes
A first grade teacher was telling her class about the 3 little pigs. She got to the part where the pigs get the building materials and said, "The first little pig went up to a man and asked, 'Excuse me sir, but may I have some straw to build a house?'"
The teacher wanted to know if the class was paying attention so she asked, "What do you think the man said?"
One boy raised his hand and said, "I think maybe the man said something like, 'Holy Shit! A talking pig!'"
A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson in logic. "Here is the situation," she said. "A man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help.
His wife hears the commotion, knows he can't swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?"
A girl raised her hand and asked, "To draw out all his savings?"
Martin: Should someone be punished for something he didn't do.
Martin: Good beacause I didn't haven't done my homework.