Freshmen vs. Seniors
Freshman: Is never in bed past noon.
Senior: Is never out of bed before noon.
Freshman: Reads the syllabus to find out what classes he can cut.
Senior: Reads the syllabus to find out what classes he needs to attend.
Freshman: Brings a can of soda into a lecture hall.
Senior: Brings a jumbo hoagie and six-pack of Mountain Dew into a recitation class.
Freshman: Calls the professor "Teacher".
Senior: Calls the professor "Bob."
Freshman: Would walk ten miles to get to class.
Senior: Drives to class if it's more than three blocks away.
Freshman: Memorizes the course material to get a good grade.
Senior: Memorizes the professor's habits to get a good grade.
Freshman: Has to ask where the computer labs are.
Senior: Has own personal workstation.
Freshman: Lines up for an hour to buy his textbooks in the first week.
Senior: Starts to think about buying textbooks in October... maybe.
Freshman: Is proud of his A+ on Calculus I midterm
Senior: Is proud of not quite failing his Complex Analysis midterm
Freshman: Conscientiously completes all homework, including optional questions
Senior: Homework? I knew I forgot to do something last night
More Funny Jokes
An airline pilot had on this particular flight hammered his plane into the runway really hard.
The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying XYZ airline."
In light of his bad landing, the pilot had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment.
Finally everyone had gotten off except for this little old lady walking with a cane.
She said, "Sonny, mind if I ask you a question?"
"Why not Ma'am," said the pilot, "what is it?"
The little old lady said, "Did we land or were we shot down?"
* If your father is a poor man, it is your fate but, if your father-in-law is a poor man, it's your stupidity.
* I was born intelligent - education ruined me.
* A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where train stops. On my desk, I have a, work station... What more can I say.
* If it's true that we are here to help others, then, what exactly are the others here for?
* Since light travels faster than sound, people appear bright Until you hear them speak.
* How come "abbreviated" is such a long word?
* Your future depends on your dreams So go to sleep!
Trying to find just the right name for your child? Why not pick one of these? Just find your profession below and we have the right name for you!
Lawyer's daughter: Sue
Thief's son: Rob
Lawyer's son: Will
Doctor's son: Bill
Fisherman's daughter: Annette
Hair stylist's son: Bob
Homeopathic doctor's son: Herb
Justice of the peace's daughter: Mary
Sound stage technician's son: Mike
Gambler's daughter: Bette
Iron worker's son: Rusty
TV star's daughter: Emmy
Movie star's son: Oscar