How did you know?
A young man excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love and going to get married. He says, Just for fun, Ma, I'm going to bring over 3 women and you try and guess which one I'm going to marry.
The mother agrees.
The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house and sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while. He then says, Okay, Ma, guess which one I'm going to marry.
She immediately replies, The one in the middle.
That's amazing, Ma. You're right. How did you know?
I don't like her.
More Marriage Jokes
Dan married one of a pair of identical twins. Less than a year later he was in court filing for a divorce.
"Tell the court why you want a divorce," the judge said.
"Well, Your Honor," Dan started, "every once in a while my sister-in-law would come over for a visit, and because she and my wife are identical, sometimes I'd end up making love to her by mistake."
"Surely there must be some difference between the two women," the judge said.
"Exactly, Your Honor. That's why I want the divorce!"
A young couple were married, and celebrated their first night together, doing what newlyweds do, time and time again, all night long.
Morning comes and the groom goes into the bathroom but finds no towel when he emerges from the shower. He asks the bride to please bring one from the bedroom. When she gets to the bathroom door, he opened the door, exposing his body for the first time to his bride where she sees all of him well.
Her eyes went up and down and at about midway, they stopped and stared, and she asked shyly, "What's that?", pointing to a small part of his anatomy.
He, also being shy, thought for a minute and then said, "Well, that's what we had so much fun with last night."
And she, in amazement, asked, "Is that all we have left?"
Q: Is it all right to bring a date to the wedding?
A: Not if you are the groom.
Q: How many showers is the bride supposed to have?
A: At least one within a week of the wedding.
Q: What music is recommended for the wedding ceremony?
A: Anything except "Tied to the Whipping Post".