Chinese For Dummies
I stepped in poop: Dung On Mai Shu
Let's sleep together: Ai Wan Tu Bang Yu
An unattractive woman: Fat ho
You need a face lift: Chin Tu Fat
Approach me: Kum Hia
A great achievement of the American space program: Moon Lan Ding
There is no reason to raise your voice: Wai U Shao Ting
Serving drinks to people: Ten Ding Ba
Cleaning an automobile: Wa Shing Kah
Are you trying to save electricity: Wai So Dim
More Funny Jokes
Freshman: Is never in bed past noon.
Senior: Is never out of bed before noon.
Freshman: Reads the syllabus to find out what classes he can cut.
Senior: Reads the syllabus to find out what classes he needs to attend.
Freshman: Brings a can of soda into a lecture hall.
Senior: Brings a jumbo hoagie and six-pack of Mountain Dew into a recitation class.
Freshman: Calls the professor "Teacher".
Senior: Calls the professor "Bob."
Freshman: Would walk ten miles to get to class.
Senior: Drives to class if it's more than three blocks away.
Freshman: Memorizes the course material to get a good grade.
Senior: Memorizes the professor's habits to get a good grade.
Freshman: Has to ask where the computer labs are.
Senior: Has own personal workstation.
Freshman: Lines up for an hour to buy his textbooks in the first week.
Senior: Starts to think about buying textbooks in October... maybe.
Freshman: Is proud of his A+ on Calculus I midterm
Senior: Is proud of not quite failing his Complex Analysis midterm
Freshman: Conscientiously completes all homework, including optional questions
Senior: Homework? I knew I forgot to do something last night
An airline pilot had on this particular flight hammered his plane into the runway really hard.
The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying XYZ airline."
In light of his bad landing, the pilot had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment.
Finally everyone had gotten off except for this little old lady walking with a cane.
She said, "Sonny, mind if I ask you a question?"
"Why not Ma'am," said the pilot, "what is it?"
The little old lady said, "Did we land or were we shot down?"
* If your father is a poor man, it is your fate but, if your father-in-law is a poor man, it's your stupidity.
* I was born intelligent - education ruined me.
* A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where train stops. On my desk, I have a, work station... What more can I say.
* If it's true that we are here to help others, then, what exactly are the others here for?
* Since light travels faster than sound, people appear bright Until you hear them speak.
* How come "abbreviated" is such a long word?
* Your future depends on your dreams So go to sleep!