Chinese Language

Chinese Language

Chinese For Dummies

I stepped in poop: Dung On Mai Shu

Let's sleep together: Ai Wan Tu Bang Yu

An unattractive woman: Fat ho

You need a face lift: Chin Tu Fat

Approach me: Kum Hia

A great achievement of the American space program: Moon Lan Ding

There is no reason to raise your voice: Wai U Shao Ting

Serving drinks to people: Ten Ding Ba

Cleaning an automobile: Wa Shing Kah

Are you trying to save electricity: Wai So Dim

More Funny Jokes

Freshmen vs. Seniors

Freshman: Is never in bed past noon.
Senior: Is never out of bed before noon.

Freshman: Reads the syllabus to find out what classes he can cut.
Senior: Reads the syllabus to find out what classes he needs to attend.

Freshman: Brings a can of soda into a lecture hall.
Senior: Brings a jumbo hoagie and six-pack of Mountain Dew into a recitation class.

Freshman: Calls the professor "Teacher".
Senior: Calls the professor "Bob."

Freshman: Would walk ten miles to get to class.
Senior: Drives to class if it's more than three blocks away.

Freshman: Memorizes the course material to get a good grade.
Senior: Memorizes the professor's habits to get a good grade.

Freshman: Has to ask where the computer labs are.
Senior: Has own personal workstation.

Freshman: Lines up for an hour to buy his textbooks in the first week.
Senior: Starts to think about buying textbooks in October... maybe.

Freshman: Is proud of his A+ on Calculus I midterm
Senior: Is proud of not quite failing his Complex Analysis midterm

Freshman: Conscientiously completes all homework, including optional questions
Senior: Homework? I knew I forgot to do something last night

Turbulent Flight

An airline pilot had on this particular flight hammered his plane into the runway really hard.

The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying XYZ airline."

In light of his bad landing, the pilot had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment.

Finally everyone had gotten off except for this little old lady walking with a cane.

She said, "Sonny, mind if I ask you a question?"

"Why not Ma'am," said the pilot, "what is it?"

The little old lady said, "Did we land or were we shot down?"

Just some thoughts...

* If your father is a poor man, it is your fate but, if your father-in-law is a poor man, it's your stupidity.

* I was born intelligent - education ruined me.

* A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where train stops. On my desk, I have a, work station... What more can I say.

* If it's true that we are here to help others, then, what exactly are the others here for?

* Since light travels faster than sound, people appear bright Until you hear them speak.

* How come "abbreviated" is such a long word?

* Your future depends on your dreams So go to sleep!

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