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Medical Entrance Exam

Medical Entrance Exam

Definitions provided by Miss Misa Yadav, Laloo's daughter, in her Medical Entrance Exam.

ANALLY - happening every year

ANTIBODY - against everyone

ARTERY - the study of fine paintings

BACTERIA - back door to a cafeteria

BENIGN - what you be after you be eight

BOWEL - letters like a, e, i, o, u

CAESARIAN SECTION - a district in Rome

CARDIOLOGY - advanced study of poker playing

CAT SCAN - searching for lost kitty

CHRONIC - neck of a crow

COMA - punctuation mark

CORTIZONE - area around local courthouse

CYST - short for sister

DIAGNOSIS - person with a slanted nose

DILATE - (i) the late British princess Diana (ii)lives long

DISLOCATION - in this place

DUODENUM - couple in jeans

ENEMA - not a friend

FALSE LABOR - pretending to work

GENES - blue denim

GROIN - to mash to a pulp / smile

HERNIA - she is close by

HYMEN - greeting to several males

IMPOTENT - distinguished, well-known

LABOR PAIN - hurt at work

LACTOSE - person without toes

LYMPH - walk unsteadily

MENOPAUSE - I no wait

MICROBES - small dressing gowns

OBESITY - city of Obe

PACEMAKER - winner of Nobel Peace Prize

PULSE - grain

PUS - small cat

RED BLOOD COUNT - Dracula

RUPTURE - ecstasy

SECRETION - hiding anything

SUBCUTANEOUS - not cute enough

SUTURE - Gujarati for "what do you want"

TABLET - small table

TUMOR - extra pair

ULTRASOUND - radical noise




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Same Work

A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Harley, when he spotted a world-famous heart surgeon in his shop. The heart surgeon was waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his bike. The mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey Doc can I ask you a question?"

The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic working on the motorcycle.

The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "So Doc, look at this engine. I also can open hearts, take valves out, fix'em, put in new parts and when I finish this will work just like a new one. So how come I get a pittance and you get the really big money, when you and I are doing basically the same work?"

The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over, and whispered to the mechanic.....

"Try doing it with the engine running!"

3 Monsters in Dream

A man visited a psychiatrist to talk about his dreams.

"Every night," the man said, "I dream that these three hideous monsters are sitting on the edge of my bed, ready to attack me."

"Hmmm," said the doctor. "I feel sure I can cure you of this problem. But the treatment will cost you somewhere between twenty and thirty thousand dollars."

"Thirty thousand dollars!" the man gasped.

"Never mind getting rid of the monsters, Doctor. I think I'll go home and try to make friends with them!"

Bump on Head

A man who had just undergone a very complicated operation kept complaining about a bump on his head and a terrible headache. Since his operation had been an intestinal one, there was no earthly reason why he should be complaining of a headache.

Finally his nurse, fearing that the man might be suffering from some post-operative shock, spoke to the doctor about it.

The doctor assured the nurse, "Don't worry about a thing. He really does have a bump on his head. About halfway through the operation we ran out of anesthetic."

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