Bus Ticket

Once a lady wearing a saree boarded a bus.

The conductor gave her a ticket of Rs 4.

Next day she wore a mini skirt, she got a ticket of Rs 2.

Next day she didn't need to buy a ticket! why?

Scroll down for the answer.....

What were you thinking of, you dirty mind

She had a bus pass.

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Musharaff & Benazir

Musharaff wanted to raise money for his country, and on being told that there was a fortune in horse racing, decided to purchase one and enter it in the races. however at the local auction, the going price was very high that he ended up buying a donkey instead. he figured that since he had it, he might as well go ahead and enter it in the races. to his surprise, the donkey came in third!

The next day in the local paper:


Mian sahib was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again,and this time it won. the paper read:


His wife was so upset with this kind of publicity that she ordered mian musharaff not to enter the donkey in another race.

The paper headline read:


This was too much for wife. so she ordered musharaff to get rid of the donkey. Mian sahib decided to give it to benazir.

The paper headline the next day read:


Followed by another on the next day:


All the opposition leaders got very upset at this kind publicity. They informed benazir that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for Rs.500.

Next day the headline read:


This was too much for the veteran opposition leader, nawabzada nasrullah khan, so he ordered benazir to buy back the donkey, lead it to the plains where it could run wild and free.

Next day, the headline in the paper read:


Silver Chutney Jar

One day Jay invited his mother over to his flat for dinner. His mother came over and noticed Jay's roomate Sonia.

Jay said "I know what you are thinking and we are just roomates" A week passed and Sonia said to Jay "I'm not saying your mother did take it and I'm not saying your mother did not take it, but ever since she came to dinner last week I haven't been able to find my beautiful silver chutney jar."

Jay said he would ask his mother. So he emailed her

"Mother I am not saying that you did take the silver chutney jar and I am not saying that you did not take the silver chutney jar"

Jay's mother replied back, "Jay I am not saying that you do sleep with Sonia and I am not saying that you do not sleep with Sonia but fact is if Sonia was sleeping in her own bed she would have been able to find the chutney jar by now.

Abusing Parrot

Once there was a Guruji and a Shishya (Student). Guruji was having a parrot which used to talk. But the parrot always used to give bad desi galis (bad words) it was really terrible.

Because of this the Guruji was very upset and one day he tells his Shishya that "We always takes the name of God, but why does the parrot gives bad words?"

After the conversation Shishya tells his Guruji that he will take the parrot to his home town for one week. And he will teach the parrot nice things eg. taking the name of God etc. and will bring it back to the ashram after one week. He leaves home with the parrot.

After one week Shishya is back along with the parrot. Guruji was very much eager to see his Shishya. He asked him whether he had taught the parrot how to talk nice things? He said yes Guruji, I have taught him how to take God's name. See, first I tied two small ropes on his both the legs. After pulling his right leg he starts saying "HARI OM" , if we pulls his second leg he will tell "SHRI HARI". Like that I have taught him. By hearing this Guruji is very happy and tells the Shishya I wants to try ones. Shishya tells him Okay Guruji try ones.

Guruji takes the parrot and pulls his right leg : as usual parrot says "HARI OM" after that he pulls his left leg "SHRI HARI" replies the parrot. This goes on for 5 minutes. But Guruji is so happy that he forgets what the Shishya told him and he pulls his (parrots) both the legs.

Now the parrot gets angry and he replies (parrot) : "Gaandu dono pau (legs) kya keechta hai girega nahi kya".

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