A famous art collector is walking through the city when he notices a mangy cat lapping milk from a saucer in the doorway of a store and he does a double take.
He knows that the saucer is extremely old and very valuable, so he walks casually into the store and offers to buy the cat for two dollars.
The store owner replies "I'm sorry, but the cat isn't for sale.
The collector says "Please, I need a hungry cat around the house to catch mice. I'll pay you twenty dollars for that cat."
And the owner says "Sold," and hands over the cat.
The collector continues, "Hey, for the twenty bucks I wonder if you could throw in that old saucer. The cat's used to it and it'll save me from having to get a dish."
And the owner says, "Sorry buddy, but that's my lucky saucer.
So far this week I've sold sixty-eight cats."
More Funny Jokes
A Priest writes outside the church I pray 4 all.
A doctor passing by writes I prescribe 4 all.
A citizen passing by writes "I PAY 4 ALL DAMIT !"
HOW A SON/DAUGHTER THINKS OF HIS/HER DADDY AT DIFFERENT AGES
At 4 Years
My daddy is great.
At 6 Years
My daddy knows everybody.
At 10 Years
My daddy is good but is short tempered
At 12 Years
My daddy was very nice to me when I was young.
At 14 Years
My daddy is getting fastidious.
At 16 Years
My daddy is not in line with the current times.
At 18 Years
My daddy is becoming increasingly cranky.
At 20 Years
Oh! Its becoming difficult to tolerate daddy. Wonder how Mother puts up with him.
At 25 Years
Daddy is objecting to everything.
At 30 Years
It's becoming difficult to manage my son. I was so scared of my father when I was young.
At 40 Years
Daddy brought me up with so much discipline. Even I should do the same.
At 45 Years
I am baffled as to how my daddy brought us up.
At 50 Years
My daddy faced so many hardships to bring us up. I am unable to manage a single son.
At 55 Years
My daddy was so far sighted and planned so many things for us. He is one of his kind and unique.
At 60 Years
My daddy is great.
Thus, it took 56 years to complete the cycle and come back to the first stage.
Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.
After you, my love, my only prize
Would be a bullet between my eyes
Of loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face
I thought that I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your brother
I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off of your face
Every time I see your face
I wish I were in outer space
I saw your face as you walked by
but then I saw a better guy
My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life
Beauty is on the inside, but some may doubt,
If it's true, I'd prefer you inside out.
I see your face when I am dreaming
That's why I always wake up screaming
What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime