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Your Country

Twists given to jfk's statements in different countries:

Don't ask what your country can do for you. Just leave.

Don't ask what your country can do for you. You don't need to.

Don't ask what your country can do for you. You will never get the answer.

Don't ask what your country can do for you. Ask USA.

Don't ask what your country can do for you. You will be embarassed.

More Funny Jokes

Food Can

Once a mathematician, physist and a chemist were locked in different rooms and were each provided with a food can without an opener.

After a day the lock of physist door was opened, He was sleeping after eating the can. On asking how he opened the can, He replied that he took out the weak point of can, pressed it and the can opened.

Then chemists door was opened, he too was sleeping after eating the can. On being asked the same question, he replied that he had a few chemicals and he applied them on surface of can, reaction took place and the can was opened.

Now, when mathematicians door was opened, he was saying "ASSUME THE CAN IS OPENED".

$ 100 for 2 Questions

A rabbi was always teaching his followers to seek the answers in themselves. But the followers always came back expecting more answers from him.

Finally he set up a booth with a sign: "Any Two Questions Answered for only $100.00" After some deliberation, one of his richest followers decided to go for it and brought two important questions.

He paid the money and said to the rabbi as he paid him, "Isn't $100 rather costly for just two questions?"

"Yes," said the Rabbi, "and what is your second question?"

The Perfect Pet

A man goes into a pet shop and tells the owner that he wants to buy a pet that can do everything.

The owner says, "How about a dog?"

The man replies, "A dog? That's so ordinary! And a dog can't do everything!"

The owner says, "How about a cat?"

The man replies, "No way! A cat certainly can't do everything. I want a pet that can do everything!"

The owner thinks for a minute, then says, "I've got it -- a centipede!"

The man says, "A centipede? I can't imagine a centipede doing everything. But, okay ... I'll try a centipede."

He gets the centipede home and says to it, "Clean the kitchen." Thirty minutes later, he walks into the kitchen and it's immaculate. All the dishes and silverware have been washed, polished, dried and put away. The countertops have been cleaned. The appliances are sparkling. The floor has been waxed.

He's absolutely amazed. He says to the centipede, "Run down to the corner and get me a newspaper." The centipede walks out the door. Ten minutes later, no centipede. Twenty minutes later, no centipede. Thirty minutes later, no centipede.

The man is wondering what's going on. The centipede should have been back in a couple of minutes. Forty-five minutes later, still no centipede! The man can't imagine what happened. Did the centipede run away? Did it get run over by a car? Finally, he goes to the front door and opens it... and there's the centipede sitting right outside the door.

The man says, "Hey! I sent you 45 minutes ago to run down to the corner and get me a newspaper. What's the problem?"

The centipede says, "I'm goin'! I'm goin'! Just putting on my shoes!"

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