Spot
Paitent: "Doc I always see faded spots before my eyes"
Doctor: Didn't the new glasses help?
Paitent: Sure, now the Spots are Clearer!

More Medical Jokes
There was this case in the hospital's Intensive Care ward where patients always died in the same bed and on Sunday morning at 11 a.m., regardless of their medical condition. This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had something to do with the supernatural no one could solve the mystery..... as to Why the death at 11 AM?
So a worldwide expert team was constituted and they decide to go down to the ward to investigate the cause of the incidents. So on the next Sunday morning few minutes before 11 a.m., all doctors and nurses nervously wait outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about. Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books and other holy objects to ward off the evil........ Just when the clock struck 11......
Scroll down for what happened...
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Sundeep Singh, the part time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged the life support system so that he could use the vacuum cleaner.


Definitions provided by Miss Misa Yadav, Laloo's daughter, in her Medical Entrance Exam.
ANALLY - happening every year
ANTIBODY - against everyone
ARTERY - the study of fine paintings
BACTERIA - back door to a cafeteria
BENIGN - what you be after you be eight
BOWEL - letters like a, e, i, o, u
CAESARIAN SECTION - a district in Rome
CARDIOLOGY - advanced study of poker playing
CAT SCAN - searching for lost kitty
CHRONIC - neck of a crow
COMA - punctuation mark
CORTIZONE - area around local courthouse
CYST - short for sister
DIAGNOSIS - person with a slanted nose
DILATE - (i) the late British princess Diana (ii)lives long
DISLOCATION - in this place
DUODENUM - couple in jeans
ENEMA - not a friend
FALSE LABOR - pretending to work
GENES - blue denim
GROIN - to mash to a pulp / smile
HERNIA - she is close by
HYMEN - greeting to several males
IMPOTENT - distinguished, well-known
LABOR PAIN - hurt at work
LACTOSE - person without toes
LYMPH - walk unsteadily
MENOPAUSE - I no wait
MICROBES - small dressing gowns
OBESITY - city of Obe
PACEMAKER - winner of Nobel Peace Prize
PULSE - grain
PUS - small cat
RED BLOOD COUNT - Dracula
RUPTURE - ecstasy
SECRETION - hiding anything
SUBCUTANEOUS - not cute enough
SUTURE - Gujarati for "what do you want"
TABLET - small table
TUMOR - extra pair
ULTRASOUND - radical noise


A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Harley, when he spotted a world-famous heart surgeon in his shop. The heart surgeon was waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his bike. The mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey Doc can I ask you a question?"
The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic working on the motorcycle.
The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "So Doc, look at this engine. I also can open hearts, take valves out, fix'em, put in new parts and when I finish this will work just like a new one. So how come I get a pittance and you get the really big money, when you and I are doing basically the same work?"
The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over, and whispered to the mechanic.....
"Try doing it with the engine running!"

