George:I am really worried.
John : Why?

George: Well, My wife read "A Tale of Two Cities" and we had TWINS, Later she read "The Three Musketeers" and we had TRIPLETS. Now she is reading "Birth of a Nation".

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Two Hats

A beggar stood in front of a restaurant with a hat in each hand.

A man passing by got curious and asked, "Why do you have two hats?"

The beggar said, "Business is so good, I've opened a branch office."

Air rules

Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory.

If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling the stick all the way back, then they get bigger again.

Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is dangerous.

It's always better to be down here wishing you were up there than up there wishing you were down here.

The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.

The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep the pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start sweating.

A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. A 'great' landing is one after which they can use the plane again.

Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make all of them yourself.

The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle of arrival. Large angle of arrival, small probability of survival and vice versa.

Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of take
offs you've made.

There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing. Unfortunately no one knows what they are.

Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, the experience usually comes from bad judgment.

A Natural Process

A man enters a barber shop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks.

"I have just the thing," says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. "Just place this between your cheek and gum."

The client places the ball in his mouth and the barber proceeds with the closest shave the man has ever experienced. After a few strokes the client asks in garbled speech.

"And what if I swallow it?"

"No problem," says the barber. "Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does."

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