A mathematician wandered home at 3 AM. His wife became very upset, telling him, "You're late! You said you'd be home by 11:45!"
The mathematician replied, "I'm right on time. I said I'd be home by a quarter of twelve."
More Funny Jokes
A class was going on...
The teacher asked a boy : If you have 12 chocolates and from that you give 3 to meena, 4 to sheena and 5 to sita. what will you get???
The Boy replied (after sometime) : Sir!!! 3 new girlfriends!!
If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who were
deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis, would you
recommend that she have an abortion?
Read the next question before looking at the answer for this one.
It is time to elect a new world leader, and only your vote counts. Here are the
facts about the three leading candidates.
Candidate A -
Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with astrologists. He's had two Mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day.
Candidate B -
He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon, used opium in college and drinks a quart of whiskey every evening.
Candidate C -
He is a decorated war hero. He's a vegetarian, doesn't smoke, drinks an occasional beer and never cheated on his wife.
Which of these candidates would be your choice?
Decide first, no peeking, then scroll down for the answer.
Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt.
Candidate B is Winston Churchill.
Candidate C is Adolph Hitler!
And, by the way, the answer to the abortion question: If you said yes, you just killed Beethoven.
Pretty interesting isn't it? Makes a person think before judging someone.
There was once a pirate who led his ship across the sea, with his shipmates and other crew members onboard. Every now and again, other ships would come in the way of theirs and they would battle it out to see who is the most powerful.
The thing that puzzled the shipmates the most was that every time they came to battle, the pirate would always ask for his red shirt.
So one day, one of the shipmates decided to ask the pirate his reason for always wearing his red shirt whilst in battle. Upon his questioning, the pirate's reply was..."Well, in the case that I get injured while fighting, as the shirt is red, you will not be able to see the blood, and therefore you can carry on fighting without being distracted."
The shipmate thought this was a fairly clever reason for him wearing the red shirt, and carried on about his business on the ship.
A few days later, the shipmate cleaning up on the upper-deck, when suddenly 100's of ships caught his eye, and they were coming right towards their ship. Instantly, he ran in the direction of the pirate, to warn him of the unfortunate news.
Once informing the pirate, he asked him whether he should get his red shirt now. In return the pirate replied with a nervous look upon his face..."No, this time get my brown trousers!"