Once a lady wearing a saree boarded a bus.
The conductor gave her a ticket of Rs 4.
Next day she wore a mini skirt, she got a ticket of Rs 2.
Next day she didn't need to buy a ticket! why?
Scroll down for the answer.....
What were you thinking of, you dirty mind
She had a bus pass.
Dictionary of Performance Evaluation Comments
Some of you might like to know what the supervisor is really saying in all those glowing employee work performance evaluations s/he keeps cranking out.
A keen analyst: Thoroughly confused.
Accepts new job assignments willingly: Never finishes a job.
Active socially: Drinks heavily.
Alert to company developments: An office gossip.
Approaches difficult problems with logic: Finds someone else to do the job.
Average: Not too bright.
Bridge builder: Likes to compromise.
Character above reproach: Still one step ahead of the law.
Charismatic: No interest in any opinion but his own.
Competent: Is still able to get work done if supervisor helps.
Conscientious and careful: Scared.
Consults with co-workers often: Indecisive, confused, and clueless.
Consults with supervisor often: Pain in the ass.
Delegates responsibility effectively: Passes the buck well.
Demonstrates qualities of leadership: Has a loud voice.
Deserves promotion: Create new title to make h/h feel appreciated.
Displays excellent intuitive judgement: Knows when to disappear.
Displays great dexterity and agility: Dodges and evades superiors well.
Doesn't suffer fools gladly: Rude and abrasive.
Enjoys job: Needs more to do.
Excels in sustaining concentration but avoids confrontations: Ignores everyone.
Excels in the effective application of skills: Makes a good cup of coffee.
Exceptionally well qualified: Has committed no major blunders to date.
Expresses self well: Can string two sentences together.
Gets along extremely well with superiors and subordinates alike: A coward.
Happy: Paid too much.
Hard worker: Usually does it the hard way.
Ideas don't last long in some heads because they can't stand solitary
Identifies major management problems: Complains a lot.
Indifferent to instruction: Knows more than superiors.
Internationally know: Likes to go to conferences and trade shows in Las Vegas.
Is well informed: Knows all office gossip and where all the skeletons are kept.
Inspires the cooperation of others: Gets everyone else to do the work.
Is unusually loyal: Wanted by no-one else.
Judgement is usually sound: Lucky.
Keep stress out of your life. Give it to others instead.
Keeps informed on business issues: Subscribes to Playboy and National Enquirer.
Listens well: Has no ideas of his own.
Maintains a high degree of participation: Comes to work on time.
Maintains professional attitude: A snob.
Meticulous in attention to detail: A nitpicker.
Mover and shaker: Favors steamroller tactics without regard for other opinions.
Not a desk person: Did not go to college.
Of great value to the organization: Turns in work on time.
Use all available resources: Takes office supplies home for personal use.
Quick thinking: Offers plausible excuses for errors.
Requires work-value attitudinal readjustment: Lazy and hard-headed.
Should go far: Please.
Slightly below average: Stupid.
Spends extra hours on the job: Miserable home life.
Stern disciplinarian: A real jerk.
Straightforward: Blunt and insensitive.
Strong adherence to principles: Stubborn.
Tactful in dealing with superiors: Knows when to keep mouth shut.
Takes advantage of every opportunity to progress: Buys drinks for superiors.
Takes pride in work: Conceited.
Unlimited potential: Will stick with us until retirement.
Uses resources well: Delegates everything.
Uses time effectively: Clock watcher.
Very creative: Finds 22 reasons to do anything except original work.
Visionary: Cannot handle paperwork or any project that lasts less than a week.
Well organized: Does too much busywork.
Will go far: Relative of management.
Willing to take calculated risks: Doesn't mind spending someone else's money.
Zealous attitude: Opinionated.
More Adult Hindi Jokes
Once a lady wearing a saree boarded a bus.
Musharaff wanted to raise money for his country, and on being told that there was a fortune in horse racing, decided to purchase one and enter it in the races. however at the local auction, the going price was very high that he ended up buying a donkey instead. he figured that since he had it, he might as well go ahead and enter it in the races. to his surprise, the donkey came in third!
The next day in the local paper:
'MUSHARAFF'S ASS SHOWS'.
Mian sahib was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again,and this time it won. the paper read:
'MUSHARAFF'S ASS OUT IN FRONT'.
His wife was so upset with this kind of publicity that she ordered mian musharaff not to enter the donkey in another race.
The paper headline read:
'WIFE SCRATCHES MUSHARAFF'ASS'.
This was too much for wife. so she ordered musharaff to get rid of the donkey. Mian sahib decided to give it to benazir.
The paper headline the next day read:
'BENAZIR TAKES MUSHARAFF'S ASS'.
Followed by another on the next day:
'NOW BENAZIR HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN'.
All the opposition leaders got very upset at this kind publicity. They informed benazir that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for Rs.500.
Next day the headline read:
'BENAZIR SELLS HER ASS FOR RS.500'.
This was too much for the veteran opposition leader, nawabzada nasrullah khan, so he ordered benazir to buy back the donkey, lead it to the plains where it could run wild and free.
Next day, the headline in the paper read:
'BENAZIR ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE'.
One day Jay invited his mother over to his flat for dinner. His mother came over and noticed Jay's roomate Sonia.
Jay said "I know what you are thinking and we are just roomates" A week passed and Sonia said to Jay "I'm not saying your mother did take it and I'm not saying your mother did not take it, but ever since she came to dinner last week I haven't been able to find my beautiful silver chutney jar."
Jay said he would ask his mother. So he emailed her
"Mother I am not saying that you did take the silver chutney jar and I am not saying that you did not take the silver chutney jar"
Jay's mother replied back, "Jay I am not saying that you do sleep with Sonia and I am not saying that you do not sleep with Sonia but fact is if Sonia was sleeping in her own bed she would have been able to find the chutney jar by now.