"Your salary is your personal business," a boss told his newest executive, " and it shouldn't be disclosed to anyone."
"I can't dream of telling anyone about it ." said the employee "I'm as ashamed of it as you are!"
More Office Jokes
Ten best things to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk:
10. "They told me at the blood bank this might happen."
9. "This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in that time management course you sent me to."
8. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the White-Out. You probably got here just in time!"
7. "I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm."
6. "I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance."
5. "I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress. Are you discriminatory toward people who practice Yoga?"
4. "Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem."
3. "The coffee machine is broken..."
2. "Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot..."
And the #1 best thing to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk...
1. " ... in Jesus' name. Amen."
The following letter of recommendation was sent to a second-line manager:
While working with Mr. Sriram, I have always found him
working studiously and sincerely at his table without idling or
gossiping with colleagues in the office. He seldom
wastes his time on useless things. Given a job, he always
finishes the given assignment in time. He will always be
deeply engrossed in his official work, and can never be
found chit-chatting in the canteen. He has absolutely no
vanity in spite of his high accomplishment and profound
knowledge of his field. I think he can easily be
classed as outstanding, and should on no account be
dispensed with. I strongly feel that Mr. Sriram should be
pushed to accept promotion, and a proposal to administration be
sent as soon as possible.
A second letter soon followed:
SRIRAM WAS PRESENT WHEN I WAS WRITING THE REPORT
MAILED TO YOU TODAY. KINDLY READ ONLY THE ALTERNATE
LINES 1,3,5,7,... FOR MY TRUE ASSESSMENT OF HIM.
The president of a large corporation opened his directors meeting by announcing,
"All those who are opposed to the plan I am about to propose will reply by saying, 'I resign.'"