Like Shit

A man walking down the road, suddenly stopped and stared down at a bulk of shit lying there, then, he said: "It sure does look like shit", he bent further to touch it, and then "it sure does feel like shit"

He bent further to smell it, then he said "it sure does smell like shit",

After that, he picked it up and ate it, then he said "it sure does taste like It" and finally he said "thank god I didn't step on it"




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The 'F' Test

Read the sentence below:

FINISHED FILES ARE THE RE-
SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIF-
IC STUDY COMBINED WITH
THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS.

Now count the F's in that sentence. Count them only once.

When you're done, scroll down

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ANSWER:

There are six F's in the sentence.

A person of average intelligence finds three of them.
If you spotted four, you're above average.
If you got five, you can turn your nose at most anybody.
If you caught six, you are a genius.

There is no catch. Many people forget the "OF"'s. The human brain tends to see them as V's and not F's.

Romantic Countries

These are some of the romantic countries in the world.

H.O.L.L.A.N.D. - Hope Our Love Lasts And Never Dies.

I.T.A.L.Y. - I Trust And Love You.

L.I.B.Y.A. - Love Is Beautiful; You Also.

F.R.A.N.C.E. - Friendships Remain And Never Can End.

C.H.I.N.A. - Come Here.. I Need Affection.

B.U.R.M.A. - Between Us, Remember Me Always.

N.E.P.A.L. - Never Ever Part As Lovers.

I.N.D.I.A. - I Nearly Died In Adoration.

K.E.N.Y.A. - Keep Everything Nice, Yet Arousing.

C.A.N.A.D.A. - Cute And Naughty Action that Developed into Attraction

K.O.R.E.A. - Keep Optimistic Regardless of Every Adversity.

E.G.Y.P.T. - Everything's Great, You Pretty Thing!

M.A.N.I.L.A. - May All Nights Inspire Love Always.

P.E.R.U. - Phorget Everyone... Remember Us.

T.H.A.I.L.A.N.D - Totally Happy. Always In Love And Never Dull.

KFC Promotion

After watching sales falling off for three straight months at Kentucky Fried Chicken, the Colonel calls up the Pope and asks for a favor.

The Pope says, "What can I do?"

The Colonel says, "I need you to change the daily prayer from, 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily chicken'. If you do it, I'll donate 10 Million Dollars to the Vatican."

The Pope replies, "I am sorry. That is the Lord's prayer and I can not change the words." So the Colonel hangs up.

After another month of dismal sales, the Colonel panics, and calls again. "Listen your Excellency. I really need your help. I'll donate $50 million dollars if you change the words of the daily prayer from 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily chicken.'"

And the Pope responds, "It is very tempting, Colonel Sanders. The church could do a lot of good with that much money. It would help us to support many charities. But, again, I must decline. It is the Lord's prayer, and I can't change the words."

So the Colonel gives up again. After two more months of terrible sales. The Colonel gets desperate. "This is my final offer, your Excellency. If you change the words of the daily prayer from, 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily chicken' I will donate $100 million to the Vatican."

The Pope replies, "Let me get back to you."

So the next day, the Pope calls together all of his bishops and he says, "I have some good news and I have some bad news. The good news is that KFC is going to donate $100 million to the Vatican."

The bishops rejoice at the news. Then one asks about the bad news. The Pope replies, "The bad news is that we lost the Wonder Bread account."

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