The Good, The Bad & The Ugly

The Good, The Bad & The Ugly

Good: Your hubby and you agree, no more kids
Bad: You can't find your birth control pills
Ugly: Your daughter borrowed them

Good: You give the birds and bees talk to your daughter
Bad: She keeps interrupting
Ugly: With corrections

Good: You're son is dating someone new.
Bad: It's another man.
Ugly: He's you're best friend.

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Confession time

There was this old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish who kept confessing to adultery.

One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said, "If I hear one more person confess to adultery, I'll quit!" Well, everyone liked him, so they came up with a code word. Someone who had committed adultery would say they had "fallen".

This seemed to satisfy the old priest and things went well, until he died at a ripe old age. About a week after the new priest arrived, he visited the Mayor of the town and seemed very concerned.

The priest said, "You have to do something about the sidewalks in town. When people come into the confessional, they keep talking about having fallen."

The Mayor started to laugh, realizing that no-one had told the new priest about the code word. Before the mayor could explain, the priest shook an accusing finger at him and said, "I don't know what you're laughing about. Your wife fell three times this week."


Once upon a time a man went to meet a priest in front of the priest he said that "Father I have done something very bad and I can feel it on my soul I wana feel better please tell me the way!"

Priest said "before I tell you any thing I need to know your crime, tell me everything and than I shall see what I can do!"

The man said "Father I made love to cat and now I am feeling so bad for what I did to cat!"

Priest said "Ok, come back tomorrow!"

Next day man return to see the priest he knocks his door for ten minutes after a while priest full of scratches opens the door and before the man speaks priest said "oh its you just tell me how did you catch the cat!"

Family Size

A white man, a black man and an Arab were standing around bragging about the size of their families.

The white man boasted, "I have 4 boys and my wife is expecting another -- Five boys. . . I will have a basketball team!"

The black man, not to be outdone, said, "That's nothing! I have10 boys now, and my wife is pregnant with another son -- that will make 11. . . I will have a football team!!"

The Arab, looked at both of them and screamed out, "You both should be ashamed of yourselves! I have 17 wives." . . . One more and I will have a golf course."

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