No More Child
After having their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough (they could not afford a larger double wide) So, the husband went to his doctor (who also treated mules) and told him that he and his wife didn't want to have any more children. The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem.
The doctor instructed him to go home, get a cherry bomb (fireworks are legal in Alabama), light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10. The Alabamian said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest man, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me -- I don't want to go deaf!"
So, the couple drove to Georgia to get a second opinion. The Georgia physician was just about to tell them about the procedure for a vasectomy when he noticed that they were from Alabama. This doctor instead told the man to go home and get a cherry bomb, light it, place it in a beer can, hold it to his ear and count to 10.
Figuring that both learned physicians couldn't be wrong, the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count, "1, 2, 3, 4, 5...", at which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs and resumed counting on his other hand...
More Stupid Jokes
Once a movie is released. The most horror one. Whoever would see it would die of heart attack. The producer had a challenge that who ever would see the movie and survived will get Rs.1,00,000.
A man accepted the challenge. He watched the movie and came out. The producer gave him the award. After 4 days the challenger diesm the producer goes for the funeral and asks "How did he die?"
One of his relatives replies, "He unterstood the story just before a minute he died!"
The photographer for a national magazine was assigned to get photos of a great forest fire. Smoke at the scene was too thick to get any good shots, so he frantically called his home office to hire a plane.
"It will be waiting for you at the airport!" he was assured by his editor.
As soon as he got to the small, rural airport, sure enough, a plane was warming up near the runway. He jumped in with his equipment and yelled, "Let's go! Let's go!" The pilot swung the plane into the wind and soon they were in the air.
"Fly over the north side of the fire," said the photographer, "and make three or four low level passes."
"Why?" asked the pilot.
"Because I'm going to take pictures! I'm a photographer, and photographers take pictures!" said the photographer with great exasperation and impatience.
After a long pause the pilot said, "You mean you're not the instructor?"
Once a boy had a black tongue. What ever he said was to happen.
One day he was playing with his friends. He lost his marbles in the play. He sked his friends to return the marbles. But they refused. He said "O God take them to you".
Immediately the boys were dead.
Similarly he wished the same for his teacher because the teacher had hit him for not completing the homework. So the teacher died.
So, the neighbours, friends and all complained the boy's father about this. The father started hitting his son.
The son again said "O God take away my father ". Next day the neighbour died.